Saturday, May 17, 2008

How to make baseball less stupid.

1. land mines. Not big ones, we don't want people getting hurt. But little ones that make big noises and throw a bit of dirt around. "AND OH MY!!! Brian, it appears that Manny Ramirez has been taken out by a landmine while trying to steal a base!"

2. midgets. midgets are hilarious.

3. fire. anywhere. make the ball on fire, the bases, maybe the seats... the foul lines. something has got to be on fire.

4. Every second inning is actually Soccer-Baseball. Do you remember Soccer-Baseball? Why is it so much more fun than baseball?

5. Play in the rain. pussies.

6. Close calls at the bag are determined by a chugging contest between the runner and the baseman.

7. Foam party in the stands!!!

8. Techno music.

9. Sean Avery?


Matt said...


Michael said...

You are awesome. It was a genuine surprise to read #5 & #7, if you wrote and compiled all of this. Ladies who are comfortable with that kind of language is a rare find.