National Passtime: Senators

Showing posts with label Senators. Show all posts

Friday, March 20, 2009

Dear Ottawa #%$^$ Senators,

You've failed. You're driving me nuts. We gave you a simple task: to continue on your craptacular spiral into last place. And you couldn't even complete it.

Throwing-in-towel Fail.

Foligno, you're fired. Jason Spezza, definitely fired. Jarko Ruutu, fired. Alfredsson, so totally fired.

Ok, then there's the MATH FAIL.

Ottawa head coach Cory Clouston, who since taking over from fired Sens coach Craig Hartsburg Feb. 2 has a 13-6-3 record said: "We feel we're a playoff team."

epic math fail.

Oh, eff it. You're all fired. Someone call up the Binghamton Senators, i think they're the only ones up for the task. Or actually, you can borrow some of the Canadiens, they seem to be fairly good at NOT WINNING. Oh and fire Clouston and bring back Harsburg.

full of hateful, hateful, anger,
Jenn

Speaking of the Canadiens...

Hooray for meltdowns.

Remember when the Habs fired their coach and that was supposed to fix everything? That went really well.

PJ Stock had a rather endearing blog post about Carbonneau and the debacle that is the Canadiens dressing room right now.

The best part of it all.... This fantastically terrible meltdown season is going to be immortalized in a loonie.

oh yay. I can't wait to think about this season 15 years from now when i'm digging in my pocket for timmies money.

Moving on to more interesting things.

A Haligonian is coaching hockey on the international level.

Patrick MacDonald is coaching with hockey powerhouse, Malaysia.

This is the second year for the IIHF Challenge Cup of Asia. The Chinese Taipei National Team won the inaugural tourney.

I am mystified by this. I heard the story of Patrick MacDonald on CBC Information Morning while still in a tired stupor at about 8:30 this morning. I actually thought I had dreamt it. Challenge Cup of Asia. Totally sounds fake.

Ovechkin.

Talk about blowing something out of proportion. The kid just scored 50 goals. Did you score 50 goals? Did anyone else score 50 goals? People are acting like he kicked a baby or something.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dear Ottawa Senators,

I feel like I've been writing to you a lot lately. But you just don't seem to be listening. Is it me? What can I do? I'll change, I swear. Please, just hear me out...

I know your coach is saying "at this time of year it's real easy to throw in the towel, but you're not going to do that... blah blah blah, useless to win, but we're stupid like the leafs and are going to keep winning because we hate ourselves, our fans and most of all victor hedman.... "

But....

Do that.

Maybe you're confused about how to do it, having leaf-itis can do that to you. Let me help, it's simple:

1. Take towel.
2. Throw it in.
3. Please.

Cheers,
Jenn (and Canadiens fans, who realize the Habs need all the help they can get staying in a playoff spot).

Oh and...

Anytime a reporter can use "snazzy" in an article... well it's pretty much the best.

From Canadian Press:

"Carbonneau wore a snazzy grey suit and a big smile as he entered the room and joked that he was 'almost starting to miss you (reporters).'"

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Hockey Day in Canada.

Oh Hockey Day in Canada... so heartwarming.

Every year the CBC spends the day broadcasting from a small town somewhere in Canada. They also manage to get three games in there, featuring all six Canadian teams and as well as hockey stories and minor league games from across the country. It is extremely cute and gives Ron MacLean ample opportunity to make puns.

It went well, I spent the day plunked on my chesterfield being completely lazy (although i did play a bit of pond on the the terribly soft ice we've got right now) and now I've got some thoughts on the games.

Game 1 — Kovalev's revenge.

Alexei Kovalev was forced by GM Bob Gainey to sit out the last two-game road trip. With that trade rumours swirled and fans wondered.

Apparently there was more than met the eye (and the media).

Kovalev told reporters that he has felt tired this season, has inexplicatly lost weight (which blood tests have been unable to explain), and he felt the break given by Gainey was good for him.

"I have no idea why this has been happening for the last few months,
but I feel better now," he said. "The last few days are going to help
me."

Well it seems like it did help.

Kovalev was on fire the entire game. He made a lot of beautiful passes and scored a classic Kovalev goal where he stripped the puck from a Senators defensemen and put one away with his super-quick release.

Also it seems the fans were pulling for him too. A friend of mine was at the Bell Centre for the game (jealousy) and he sent a text to say that Kovalev recieved the biggest pre-game cheer from the crowd.

Perhaps sentiments helped along by the fact that "party-gate" came out while Kovalev was on his break.

Another thing I noticed was the powerplay of the Canadiens. And for once it wasn't because it was deplorable.

I've joked about the news that the Canadiens have traded for Mathieu Schneider — but it almost seems to be working. They had a deplorable roadtrip in Washington and Pittsburgh (although when Ovechkin does this sometimes it can't be helped.)

But the powerplay looked fabulous last night. They were passing like the Canadiens of last year and Schneider seems to have fit in nicely as the new PP quarterback.

On the other side — Ottawa had Mike Comrie in the lineup. No this isn't 2007, the Senators traded for him.

The Senators general manager reacquired Comrie and defenseman Chris Campoli from the New York Islanders for centre Dean McAmmond and a first-round draft pick.

To help understand what draft pick the Senators traded away I am using an excerpt from CBC.ca: "The 2009 first-rounder heading to the Islanders originally belonged to San Jose, which included the pick in the Andrej Meszaros-Filip Kuba trade with the Senators on Aug. 29, 2008."

Got it? No? Oh well.

What I think this is trying to say is that the Senators will still have their own first round pick should they tank their season (which is very possible). So don't worry, Sens fans, your dreams of Victor Hedman are still very much alive.

Comrie is an unrestricted free agent on July 1. I'm betting this will be one of those one-night stands. However Campoli, a puck-moving defenseman is making less than a million and he's under contract until the end of next season.

Oh yah... the final score: Montreal 5, Ottawa 3

Game 2 — The Return of the Sundin.

It's the kind of stuff that makes you think hockey might be fake... you know, like wrestling. Someone is scripting this stuff, right?

Stuff doesn't work out this perfectly.

Sundin makes his return to the team he played for for 13 years (on Hockey Day in Canada, no less) and scores the final goal in the shootout to win it for the ~~Leafs~~ Canucks.

I am pleased to see that the Leafs fans didn't act like a bunch of fools and boo him. During a television timeout he received a huge standing ovation that lasted until it was time for puck drop, for which he was on the ice. The refs stood back and let him gather himself.

Good job Toronto fans.

Score: Canucks 3 Leafs 2 (Shootout)

Game 3 — Squeezing the stick a little too hard.

Edmonton... to win a shootout you need to hit the net. All three shooters for the Oilers couldn't even get a shot on Kiprusoff.

Sam Gagner actually lost the puck on the way into the net. The look on Craig MacTavish's face was absolutely priceless.

Score: Calgary 3, Edmonton 2 (shootout)

Overtime — Final thoughts on the day.

- I am actually really sick of "Hockeyville". It was cool the first year, but it's beginning to get repetitive and kind of seems like filler.

- I was a bit skeptical about the CBC picking up PJ Stock as their sort of... well.. what does he do? Anyway, he has really grown on me. He cracks me up, his self-deprecating humour is refreshing. You could tell it took some time for him to work out the kinks of broadcasting but I think he's got it now... he's definitely brought some spice to the CBC set which can sometimes seem a little bit too serious. His blog posts also crack me up, I can just picture him saying this stuff.

- Alexander Ovechkin is absolutely dismantling the NHL this year (see video above) — he got his 43rd goal today (8 more goals than the nearest challenger... although Crosby and Malkin both have more points) and he had a slow start. Unreal. Crosby and Ovechkin had a little battle through the media today. Ovechkin said Crosby talks too much and Crosby said he doesn't like Ovechkin's showboating on the ice. Not exactly Avery versus Phaneuf but still fun.

And that's it for my epic Sunday afternoon post. Somebody get me a beer.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Puke.

The Senators rolled out their new third sweater today. Barf. This has got to be a joke, right?

It sorta looks like something the Anaheim Mighty Ducks woulda done when they actually officially had the "mighty" in their name.

It just screams Impact Bold, you know that font that was over-used in the 90s...

Now, the entire sweater isn't awful, it's really just the font of the name. I like the black, and the detailing is nice... It actually reminds me of the new Halifax Mooseheads third sweater, which gives that retro feel (even though the team is less than 20 years old). The obvious choice for the Senators would've been to go with their sweaters from back in the day, but the Ottawa 67s (the Major Junior team) uses that design.

So really, if the Sens had've gone with a font closer to the Halifax sweater, it would actually be really nice.

And I wouldn't have to write a blog post titled, "Puke".

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Live Bloggin, NHL 2008-09 OPENS!

Well folks, I think that's it. My laptop battery is just about dead.
Later homies!
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:44 PM

So Ron MacLean had a silver Apple Powerbook in front of him at the beginning of the show. I actually made a quick note because I myself am a Mac user. I just notice now that they've placed a Hockey Night In Canada sticker over the apple logo. haha really? How come you can have a crap Dell computer sitting there and that's ok? weird.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:39 PM

"It's almost as if Malkin needs a cookie or something. And then his confidence comes out" - Kelly Hrudey
"Well if he wants a cookie i'll buy him an economy pack of Oreos" - Mike Milbury
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:35 PM

Ummmmm. Ok first the referees change their mind on the faceoff. And now CBC has to change the 3 stars?
so... they should read as: 3. Malkin, 2. Heatley, 1. Kennedy

What is going on?! I'm so confused.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:31 PM

Overall it was a good game. It's a bit unfortunate that the first two periods were a constant flood to the penalty box. But there was some good action in the third, and you can't beat a good overtime win. I'll be interested to see if the teams are a little more comfortable on their special teams (and don't take as many dumb penalties) in tomrrows game. It's less than 24 hours away! Puck drop is at 3:30 AST again tomorrow.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:29 PM

Three Stars: 3. Malkin, 2. Spezza, 1. Kennedy
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:26 PM

GOOOOOOOOOALLLLLLLL... Pittsburgh Wins the Game 4-3.
Tyler Kennedy with his second of the night. Gerber lets in another bad goal.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:26 PM

End of third period. 3-3.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:17 PM

Kind of an uneventful third period. There is some good end to end action. And the whistle seems to have been put away.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 6:11 PM

GOAL... Pittsburgh: Rob Skuderi. first goal in 95 games! nice wrist shot. perfect pass from Crosby.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:51 PM

Ottawa has a two-man advantage right now. Crosby is out there killing it. Is there anything he can't do? (besides find his way to the airport).
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:47 PM

Since we have talked about Iginla twice so far today... I thought i'd let you all know an extremely important detail... Wikipedia says this is Jarome's full name: Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla. Good God!
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:40 PM

I don't know if "excited" is a word to use when talking about a one of the deadliest First World War battles involving Canadians. But I am really looking forward to Passchendaele, the epic movie directed/written/starred in by Paul Gross. The movie is one of the most expensive films made in Canada. Gross turned a portion of Alberta into a muddy, stark mess almost exactly as it would have been in 1917 and it's extremely historically accurate. Anyway I just saw the trailer for the movie and it looks amazing. It opens October 13, so if you've got a chance to see it. go.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:36 PM

Toronto’s Ryan Hollweg was in three scraps last night against St.
Louis. Fist-trick! If you are trying to send a message to your
opponent, or impress your coach, wouldn’t one or two suffice? Jerome
Iginla almost dropped them with Nathan McIver in the Flames-Canucks game, until Corey Sarich wisely stepped in. Imagine Iggy breaking a hand in a 6-1 pre-season game. Oopsie. Hello 12th place.
- James Duthie.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:28 PM

End of period two.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:25 PM

GOAL... Ottawa: Spezza. Shorthanded, 3 on 2 breakaway, over the glove. It appears powerplays are now cursed.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:23 PM

Can someone please tell me why CBC is broadcasting in Punjabi?

-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:17 PM

GOAL... Ottawa: Dany Heatley. Powerplay. all alone in the slot. wrist shot over the shoulder of Fluery. (And there's 3 points in my pool).
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:12 PM

I am always so confused around this time of year. I try my best to stay up to date on all the movement in the offseason but sometimes it's tough with the smaller moves. Especially when there are two players in the league with the exact same name. Looks like the Ottawa Senators picked up former Halifax Moosehead, Alexandre Picard.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:11 PM

ummm, Mad Max Talbot is fighting with his former teammate Jarkko Ruutu
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:07 PM

#%@& I love chips!
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:04 PM

I'm still not getting the new Scotiabank commercial. Where the mom finds the Art Ross trophy in the closet and she wanders through the house with it... (there's a kid driving a full sized zamboni in the backyard... but let's stay on track here.) She goes out front where Jarome Iginla is playing street hockey. "Who left the Art Ross Trophy in the closet?" and Jarome owns up to it and he gets a scorn from the mom.
First of all this obviously isn't his mom so why is she scorning him? (see: age of bearing children, skin colour). My other question is how did Jarome get the Art Ross. I seem to remember that Ovechkin kid winning it last. Is Ovechkin alright? Did Jarome tie him up and steal it? Why did he hide it in some random person's closet? I'm lost. Oh hockey's back on....
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 5:02 PM

GOAL... Pittsburgh: Evgeni Malkin. shorthanded breakaway. I've just noticed now that Malkin has been given the "A".
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:53 PM

If Ed stole my wallet on my way to buy a Proline ticket I would begin shaking every beer he owned.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:43 PM

End of the first period. Man am i hungry. Sorry guys. Heading to the store for something horrible for me.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:29 PM

Maybe we should rename Hartsburg the jedi. I think he just used jedi mind tricks to have the referees change the faceoff spot.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:26 PM

Crosby standing all alone beside the net. Puck didn't come to him, but it could've. man i'm deep.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:24 PM

And the constant stream of Senators to the penalty box is continuing. Chris Neil took a dumb dumb dumb penalty. Hitting from behind.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:20 PM

Has anyone ever seen Timbits Hockey? For a couple minutes there this looked exactly like it... but bigger.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:20 PM

Have I mentioned the Penguins offseason debacle? Can I add Jarkko Ruutu to that subject? He's blocking shots. BLOCKING SHOTS in the first game of the season. There are some players out there that only block a shot if it accidentally hits the on the ass while they're trying to skate back from the offensive zone.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:18 PM

questionable penalty to the sens
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:11 PM

GOAL... Ottawa: Shean Donovan, deflection. mid period.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:06 PM

Malkin: you have a very nice shot. But you really need to hit the net.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:02 PM

Man do I hate that penalty... delay of game for the puck over the glass. Chris Phillips is the first victim of the dumbest penalty of life.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 4:01 PM

we got our first penalty. McAmmond playin a bit dirty behind the net. Let's see how this powerplay looks.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:57 PM

GOAL... Pittsburgh: Tyler Kennedy, 40 seconds in. Really bad goal by Gerber.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:53 PM

Well good thing the commentators are actually in Sweden because the video keeps cutting out.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:53 PM

14,119 people are at the game. But according to a piece by TSN yesterday, it's the "worst ice the players have ever played on".
Also Mats Sundin looks as though he's quickly become a hermit while "contemplating his future"... He's bald on top and he's got a strange blonde beard... maybe it's just that he missed growing a playoff beard during all those years with the Leafs.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:51 PM

Mats Sundin is dropping the puck for the faceoff. Hey Mats... shouldn't you be doing something???
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:50 PM

OH SWEET LORD... three anthems.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:48 PM

Dear anthem singer... sing faster. geez.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:45 PM

Sidney Crosby should grow his mullet back.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:45 PM

Speaking of Mike Milbury... so far he's made a reference to mice and cats (when speaking about Khabibulan) and today he made a reference about letting the dog out of the house. Not sure if he's wise enough to have made it on purpose.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:42 PM

CBC is showing a fairly scary band right now. Ron Maclean just called them "a poor man's Marilyn Manson"... and then he told Mike Milbury they'd get Michael Bublé for him. Good start guys. You might even call it great.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:37 PM

Alright the first game is over, the Rangers took the first game 2-1. From the pieces that I saw, there wasn't much defense going on. CBC has both games today. Apparently though, the first game was commentated via monitor in Toronto. Jim Hughson and Craig Simpson are actually in Stockholm for this one.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:35 PM

Sorry everyone, I said 3pm (AST) but I got trapped at work.
-Jenn Casey 10/4/08 3:26 PM

Welcome to the first Live Bloggin of the new season. I trust all of your Hockey Withdrawal Syndrome symptoms have now faded and you're comfortably loafing on your coach with some beer and snacks.

While we're waiting for the game to start — I've tabulated my POWERRANKINGS (yes in my world IT'S ALL ONE WORD... HARDCORE!!!) for the upcoming season. Which, of course, was all very scientific... (it mostly involved rum and coke and pictures of the team logos). So, they're all probably horribly wrong. But that's why it's fun! Also I've put my rum-induced justifications in brackets beside each ranking.

The rankings take into account the silly standards that the NHL use for playoff positions. So the top three are the three who will finish atop their respective divisions, not necessarily who will finish with the most amount of points. Here we go:

EAST

division winners.

1. Montreal Canadiens (best powerplay, didn't lose many players of substance in offseason, scoring comes from all lines, Jesus Price, Kovalev's hair, Tanguay)

2. Philadelphia Flyers (i'm kinda counting on Mike Richards to destroy all in his path...)

3. Washington Capitals (the rest of the division is not very good)
---------------------------

made the playoffs.

4. Ottawa Senators (they'll rebound... just not into the top of the division... *Dear Senators, you better rebound, I have Heatley in my pool, yes that was a threat*)

5. Pittsburgh Penguins (From second!?! well, they lost ALOT of grit in that ridonkulous Hossa trade...Have I said it wasn't worth it lately? Yes? oh. And in the offseason... Gary Roberts is a monster, you realize that right? And Gonchar is out for 6 months; Whitney until December. Oh and they lost their enforcer, their scary enforcer. But i'm giving the rest of the kids the benefit of the doubt that they'll pull out a playoff worthy performance.)

6. Carolina Hurricanes (Eric Staal carries team on shoulders)

7. New Jersey Devils (Martin Brodeur carries team on shoulders in search of beating Patrick Roys records)

8. Tampa Bay Lightning (Most people have them out. I'm putting them in because I think the mad scheme the ownership put in place might just work.)

---------------------------

a few points out of playoffs.

9. Boston Bruins (some ridiculous injury will happen to one of their stars in ... January... sure, why not.)

10. New York Rangers (every year I wager these guys will not make the playoffs. Even though everyone else has them in. Is this the year... that I am incorrect?)

11. Buffalo Sabres (seems like a good place for the Campbell-less, Satan-less *tehe* Sabres to finish)
-------------------------

no chance.

12. Florida Panthers

13. Atlanta Thrashers

14. New York Islanders

15. Toronto Maple Leafs (if they're wise... they'll finish here.)

WEST

division winners.

1. Detroit Red Wings (President's Trophy... again. I'm sure i'll rant about this at some point, but it's mostly based on the schedule and the fact they play their division [aka: the weakest, saddest teams] the most.)