Random thoughts for the day.

Top 10 (completely random) things from Round 1

1. Watching San Jose, yet again, crap out in the playoffs. Seriously, who didn't see that one coming this year.
   
2. John Tortorella loses mind... again.
   
3. Sean Avery is an idiot... again.
   
4. Detroit Red Wings and Boston Bruins are very very scary good.
   
5. learning that Adam Burrish was a guest security guard on Jerry Springer. Insert own joke here.
   
6. Maybe the kids are alright. One of the youngest team in the NHL with an average age of 26.8, the Chicago Blackhawks pick off the Calgary Flames and made it look damn easy.
7. Alexander Ovechkin actually undressed several New York Rangers. No.... literally. It was a sexy time.
8. Carolina Hurricanes score with seconds left in game 7 to take the series. Someone kick Martin Broduer please.
9. Because of said late third period goal... Washington plays Pittsburgh in Round 2. I think Washington Coach Bruce Boudreau said it best... "we're playing Pittsburgh, welcome to the circus."
   
10. Does this mean Eric Staal is good again?
    

There's the old Torts we all knew and loved.

throwing shit at fans... playing "next question" with real reporters.... distracting his team into blowing a series against Washington....

But the weird thing is... he apologized.

"It was a bad mistake and I regret it," said John Tortorella. "I put the Ranger organization in an embarrassing situation and I'm embarrassed by it."

The old Torts woulda said "eff it! that fan is a moron and I wish i gotta hold of him like that time the fan fell into the box with Tie Domi. I woulda effed him right up."

tsk tsk Torts. TSN made you soft. You've lost your touch.


Update — Epic Beard Battle.

Epic = Saddest

May 1 morning skate: Day 17

May 2nd Post-game: Day 18

Ok, now you can bring Avery back.

Because if anyone will have that little moron shaking in his boots, it's Torts.

Yes, the Big Apple just got a little more entertaining.

It's another one of those moments that just seems scripted. Torts will make his coaching debut with his new team in Toronto where he will bask amongst his former co-workers at TSN and the Toronto media.

I'm so happy to have my old John Tortorella back — I missed him. The screaming, yelling, swearing, f-bomb dropping Tortorella, that is. So much more fun than the reflective, non-swearing, analytical Tortorella we got on TSN (although to his defense, he did let a few drop here and there.)

Regardless. There is nothing like a good post-game interview with John Tortorella when his team played like donkey shit. And now he's with the New York Rangers. So that possibility is highly probable.

What a nice pre-trade deadline treat.


and while I was writing this post.


MARTIN BRODEUR WAS PULLED OFF INJURY RESERVE!!!
It's looking like a debut against the Colorado Avalanche on Thursday is the plan.

For the conspiracy theorists out there.
Sounds like Peter Stoffer drank the koolaid.

No longer orphans.

Three teams have been removed from the orphan list this week as they found head coaches.

The Toronto Maple Leafs hired Ron Wilson, the former head boss for the San Jose Sharks, the Leafs brass apparently wanted someone who was well accustomed to dealing with underachieving. (ummm?) However, unlike former coach Paul Maurice, Wilson is not promising that the team will make the playoffs (probably a safe assumption), and noted that this will certainly be a rebuilding period (what was the last 5 years?).

Anyway I can't help but note the opportunity missed here, I've said this before but I want to repeat these two things again: John Tortorella and Toronto Media. Why, oh, why was this opportunity missed? John Tortorella has always been at odds with the media, and he also loves calling out his own players to them. Can you imagine what it would've been like in a city where the press probably follows the head coach home at night and stakes out the house like paparazzi I am absolutely certain that if they had have hired him, it would've ended in a giant press conference clearing brawl.

Okay, I'm done with the Tortorella dream. Back to the orphan teams, San Jose picked up Todd McLellan (former assistant with the Detroit Red Wings). This is McLellan's first head coaching position, we'll see how that shitwagon rolls when the season starts.

Finally, and possibly the most intriguing. The Ottawa Senators picked up Craig Hartsburg as their new head coach. This will definitely be an interesting ride, he has won taken Canada's World Junior hockey team to back-to-back golds... But, it's Ottawa, the team is a little... off. If Dany Heatley plays the way he did at the World Championships this year then maybe they'll be in business. But if Jason Spezza plays like he did at the World Championships, maybe not. It also really depends on a ton of off season stuff... July 1 will really be huge for the Senators. So Hartsburg definitely inherits a team that has their share of issues. God speed, Hartsy... at least it's not the Leafs job?

Coach in exile.

Tampa Bay fired John Tortorella yesterday. No Kidding.
The Lightening join San Jose, Florida, Ottawa, Toronto and Atlanta as orphan teams.

And check out this story from the Chronicle Herald apparently that whole little drama involving Sidney Crosby and Don Cherry doesn't exist:

There is no feud
Does Don Cherry have a beef with Sidney Crosby? Both men say no
By DEVIN STEVENS
Wed. Jun 4 - 7:43 PM

Pittsburgh Penguins captain Sidney Crosby denies he has any problem with Don Cherry. Al Hollingsworth, a local columnist, says Mr. Cherry has “been bullying this young man from Day 1, and people who watch this are saying, ‘What’s going on? Why?’ For somebody he’s never met, he’s highly critical." (FRANK GUNN / CP)

SIDNEY CROSBY and Don Cherry publicly deny there’s a grudge between them.

But fans, bloggers and professional writers aren’t buying it, saying hockey’s loudest high-collared commentator has it in for one of the game’s biggest stars.

"If I were the head of CBC Sports and the best player in the game seemed to be ignored in favour of Gary Roberts looking up at the time clock, I think I’d wonder," William Houston, a sports columnist for Toronto’s Globe and Mail, said in a phone interview Tuesday.

Mr. Houston’s column after Game 3 of the Stanley Cup final said Mr. Cherry and Hockey Night in Canada have a ridiculous grudge against Mr. Crosby.

He said the Pittsburgh Penguins centre’s performance was one of the best stories of the year and should have received raves.

The Cole Harbour native had two of the game’s three goals and logged almost 20 minutes of ice time. Mr. Cherry’s post-game comments ignored Mr. Crosby, instead praising veteran teammate Gary Roberts.

Mr. Roberts had almost nine minutes of ice time and one assist to go with his gritty, physical play.

Mr. Houston said he likes Don Cherry and the two sometimes speak on the phone. While Mr. Cherry is a pundit paid to express his opinions, Mr. Houston said Ron MacLean, the show’s impartial host, had a responsibility to bring up Mr. Crosby’s performance.

"I like Don," said Mr. Houston. "I think he can do whatever he wants to do. He can say whatever he wants, ignore whoever he wants. However, I think most of the fault rests with Ron MacLean."

Mr. Cherry seemed to respond to the column during Monday night’s game, saying there isn’t a feud with Mr. Crosby. He said while he has chastised Mr. Crosby for diving and embellishing to draw penalties in the past, he hasn’t been the only target.

"If you ask (Wayne) Gretzky, I gave it to Gretzky pretty good because he was flopping around," said Mr. Cherry. "I gave it to Mario (Lemieux), and I tried to tell Crosby what’s going on. Mario was diving all over the place and he embarrassed the referees, and after a while they wouldn’t call anything against him.

"That’s all I tried to do with Crosby. I tried to teach him that, and not to yap at thereferee, and he’s doesn’t do it anymore. But it’s too late."

Mr. Cherry first criticized Mr. Crosby during the superstar’s rookie season in junior hockey, calling him a "hotdog" for a lacrosse-style goal from behind the net. He later cast doubt on Mr. Crosby’s injuries when he pulled out of an NHL top prospects game.

Mr. Crosby has dismissed rumours of a feud with Mr. Cherry, saying the two have never met.

Al Hollingsworth, a columnist for the website HalifaxLive.com, also took Mr. Cherry to task after Game 4. He says Mr. Cherry just doesn’t like the 20-year-old star.

"He’s been trying to get around what he’s been doing all along and that’s bullying the kid," Mr. Hollingsworth said over the phone.

"He’s been bullying this young man from Day 1, and people who watch this are saying, ‘What’s going on? Why?’ For somebody he’s never met, he’s highly critical."

Mr. Hollingsworth said Mr. Crosby is arguably the best player in the game, yet he gets almost no mention on Coach’s Corner. When he does, it’s usually negative.

While he’s all for legitimate criticism, Mr. Hollingsworth said the CBC, as a Crown corporation funded by tax dollars, shouldn’t let Mr. Cherry go out of his way to attack Mr. Crosby.

Herring Cove’s Jonathan Turner started a Facebook fan group about Mr. Crosby. He said he doesn’t believe Mr. Cherry’s comments about trying to help.

"That’s all show, everybody knows what he’s like," said Mr. Turner.

"He first saw Crosby in junior and he legitimately thought he was a hotdog. I think he realizes now what the kid’s all about.

"He’s just backpedalling and now he wants to be with Crosby."

( dstevens@herald.ca)

’If you ask (Wayne) Gretzky, I gave it to Gretzky pretty good because he was flopping around. I gave it to Mario (Lemieux), and I tried to tell Crosby what’s going on.’

DON CHERRY

’If I were the head of CBC Sports and the best player in the game seemed to be ignored in favour of Gary Roberts looking up at the time clock, I think I’d wonder.’

William HoustonGlobe and Mail columnist