Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tampa - Montreal

Tampa and Montreal have a game in a little over a half an hour.

I'm interested to see how the Canadiens players react. Last time the two played, Dec 11, Montreal looked like a bunch of school kids.

It was especially frustrating watching Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lecavalier have free reign despite the fact the two always play especially well when at home in Quebec.

That frustration showed on Guy Carbonneau during the post game press conference where he called out his players for that exact reason, wondering why they didn't listen to him.

But, since that game the Canadiens lost another two, but recovered from the rough patch, to take 9 of possible 10 points.

It should be a good game. Actually a really good game. And yet TSN is showing Toronto play Atlanta. Really?

Canada Canada.

Slight concern, but they'll be ok.
Team Canada played Germany last night at the World Juniors. And it was pretty darn close for the first two periods. At one point it was 2-1 and Canada was playing like... Hmmm, I was going to say the Leafs, but that's just mean. Anyway, luckily for the Canadians they turned it on in the third, and the Germans looks fairly tired. I think Pat Quinn will have some type of coronary at practice today before the big game against the Americans tomorrow.

Oh yah! the Spengler.
Remember that random little tournament held each Christmas in Davos, Switzerland? Where Canada plays random Euro club teams? Well Canada is one win away from the final, they only have to beat the Moscow Dynamo to get there. Sure... why not.

All Star.

Other than the fact that the All Star game is actually somewhere where people care about the game this year... I'm not really that excited. NHL.com is filled with 'breaking news' updating the allstar voting results. I don't care. I like the skills competition. But the game is a farce and a waste of time. They need to change something, just not sure what. I'll think about it and get back to you.

Monday, December 29, 2008

What do you mean Sidney Crosby didn't get it?

Twins first baseman, Justin Morneau is Canada's Male Athlete of the Year.

I had to laugh a bit when I heard what he said about the award,

"Any time you can beat out a hockey player in anything in Canada, it's an accomplishment," said Morneau. "It's pretty cool, especially with the people who have been named to this award."

And it seems like he might be right to be happy with his accomplishment. He's just the fourth baseball player since 1932 to win the honour.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Live Bloggin, Canada versus Kazakhstan.

Guys, I'm gonna quit live bloggin this one. I am heading out for dinner with a few friends. I think Canada's got this one. Don't ask how I know. Just a hunch.

6:01pm: END OF SECOND PERIOD, 9-0 Canada.

This is awesome because you know the web editor is channeling Borat in this headline.

5:57pm: ah Pierre McGuire. The useless fact machine. Apparently Canadian goaltender Chet Pickard plays #37 because that's the number Olaf Kolzig plays. And Olaf Kolzig owns the junior team that Pickard plays for. You're richer for knowing that.

5:55pm: This is a damn nailbiter. I'm really really bored.

5:53pm: GOAL - Canada, John Tavares. Gord Miller literally just finished saying... John Tavares doesn't have one yet in this game. Don't worry Gord, I think everyone will get one before the end of the game.

5:52pm: Kazakhstan takes another penalty. 

5:51pm: shots. 35 -8.

5:50pm: They still have a period and a half left. Kazakhstan looks exhausted.

5:49pm: GOAL - Canada, Tyler Ennis... tictactoe play.

5:47pm: Canada is on yet another powerplay. You kinda have to feel bad for Kazakhstan. They played last night and lost 9-0 to the Germans. Canada had a full day off yesterday.

5:36pm: GOAL - Hat trick, Jamie Benn

5:30pm: GOAL - Canada, Cody Hodgson

14 of the 20 player roster for Kazakhstan play for the same club, the Kazzinc-Torpedo.


5:11pm: I'm concerned that this game might be forming some bad habits... like trying to dangle in the neutral zone, and playing with the puck in front of their own goaltender.

5:10pm: sorta like a big game of keepaway.

5:09pm: Ryan Ellis is soooo incredibly short!

5:07pm: GOAL - Canada, PK Subban. Might as well change the name of the Wayne Gretzky office to the John Tavares office. Another nice pass from behind the net.

5:05pm: GOAL - Canada, Jamie Benn, powerplay goal. Nice pass from Wayne Gretzky territory from Tavares.

5:04pm: Kazakhstan goaltender Andrei Yankov makes a nice nice save.
5:03pm: annnnnnnd boom goes the dynamite. They just put the puck over the boards. 2 man advantage.

5:02pm: Kazakhstan takes another penalty.

4:58pm: Pierre McGuire just repeated for about the third time, that we all need to just wait until the Kazakhstan players run out of gas. Thanks Pierre.

9:05: The Kazakhstan goaltender seems to be their only player. I've also realized that the timing of the games is extremely confusing. Screw it, i'm using actual times.

10:45: GOAL - Canada, Jamie Benn, powerplay goal.

14:02: Let's do it live! Canada just drew a penalty. It's already 1-0 Canada over Kazakhstan and the shots are 8-1.

Dear Pittsburgh Penguins,

Andrei Kostitsyn.

that's it.

- Jenn

Saturday, December 27, 2008

One down.

And how.

Canada started the 2009 World Juniors with a bang yesterday. Taking down the Czech Republic 8-1. John Tavares led the way with two goals and a helper, but the other six goals came from six other players. That's one round robin game down.

But the real test won't come until New Year's Eve when Canada faces the USA, since the next victims are Kazakhstan (really?) on Sunday 4:30 AST, and Germany on Monday 8:30 AST.

"Borat put Kazakhstan on the map and now Kazakhstan will try to put Kazakhstan on the map..." - TSN anchor Bryan Mudryk.

And the United States looked great yesterday (although it was against Germany), but they will be the team to beat for Canada. Barring some monumental upset, the two teams will face off twice before Canada can get its hands on a medal. So Canada does have a bit of a tough road. It's definitely hard when you don't have a little adversity to keep your team sharp.

But hey, so far my only complaint is that i'm not IN Ottawa. Can't win em all I guess.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry Christmas

For anyone who thinks this is hilarious.

Christmas anti-miracle.

Geez, did they poo under the tree as well?
As Canada prepares to try to win a gold medal at the 2009 World Junior Championship in Ottawa, the family of Detroit Red Wing prospect Logan Pyett would love to get back his 2008 WJC gold medal.

The gold medal from last year's World Junior Championship was on display in the home of Pyett's parents, Rhonda and Lyle, in Balgonie, Sask., but was stolen on Tuesday evening when the Pyett home was broken into by thieves while they were out at a Christmas function.

The Pyett's car, amongst many other personal effects, were also stolen and the RCMP is working on the case, but Pyett's parents feel particularly bad about the loss of their son's gold medal, which has great sentimental value and is irreplaceable. It was on display with his Team Canada sweater, but the sweater was not stolen.

"We're hoping it will be like when Sidney Crosby's jersey was stolen and he got it back," said Jayme Day, Pyett's aunt. "Hopefully, it turns up or the person who took it realizes what it means and returns it. We feel terrible about it because it's Logan's and it means so much to him and his family."

Wrigley II.

December 23. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, which means it's just two days from Christmas. Which means..... THREE DAYS till WORLD JUNIORS!

Monday, December 22, 2008


Sometimes I worry about people...

...and what goes through their heads when they sit down to write an article...

From NHL.com:

Anyone wondering what Sidney Crosby would do for a midwinter encore 12 months "after scoring the winning shootout goal in the inaugural Winter Classic now has their answer. At noon ET today, Crosby eclipsed Jaromir Jagr’s record for the most votes ever received by one player in one season in the history of NHL All-Star Game fan balloting.

Apparently Sidney Crosby has done nothing since scoring that single goal in that one game back in January 2008.

He didn't lead his team to the Stanley Cup finals at age 20. He didn't get inducted into the Order of Nova Scotia. And he absolutely doesn't have 46 points, second only to teammate Evgeni Malkin.

So yes. Obviously surpassing Jagr in allstar fan voting is the obvious encore to that goal he scored outside. Obviously.

Not to mention that it is obviously extremely fair to compare Jagr's time with Crosby's. Online balloting has been around for years and the NHL hasn't had a ballot stuffing problem.

Question, what will Crosby do next?

, if he keeps this up, he might even crack the olympic lineup.

Note: may contain peanuts... er, sarcasm.

Friday, December 19, 2008

There's SNOW... in TORONTO.

You know... it snowed here in Charlottetown the other day... probably 10 - 15 cm ... and we all lived.

But it appears... Toronto can't handle it.


he finally signed.

Sundin. Vancouver. 1 year. 10$ million. (prorated so, around 5$ million.)

Thursday, December 18, 2008

the post that shoulda posted yesterday.

... and I never finished it. But i figured i'd post it.

Chicawga is on fire.

6-0-1. And they put the boot to the Edmonton Oilers last night... 9 -2. wow.

"It was humiliating," said Oilers veteran Sheldon Souray. "It was a real poor effort. They pretty much exposed us in every area of the game. They took it to us all over the place. All the way around we got outplayed. It's been a long time since I have been part of a game like that."

Sheldon Souray... being humiliated. Remember that time Jason Spezza undressed him a few years ago.... and then the highlight reel goal he was on the wrong end of every night on sportscentre... yah...

magic sortof.

Kovalev scored a shorthanded goal last night against the Hurricanes, but his magic was not enough. The Habs couldn't stop Eric Staal who had two goals. The Canes won 3-2.

I'm concerned about the Habs. The powerplay is not clicking and they're taking a lot... A LOT of penalties (Habs took 11 of the game's first 12) . The fact that they have a number of injuries (notably, Carey Price, Saku Kouivu, etc) is a sidebar. They haven't been clicking all season. They don't have any consistancy on the power play. They never really replaced Mark Streit who was one of the most underrated powerplay quarterbacks in the NHL last year. Carbonneau seems frustrated.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Oh ya....

...remember that "soft deadline" Mats Sundin gave on when he would decide his future in the NHL. Well as predicted right here on National Passtime... That soft deadline of Dec 15 has come and gone, and there's still no word.

Gee. I just don't know how I predicted that one.

Duthie weighs in:

"Mats Sundin has become The Lockout, version 2K8.
For six months, we've been waiting for him to make up his mind. Six months!?! Presidents and Prime Ministers have been elected. Economies have crumbled. And still, we wait on Mats.
Somebody shoot me. Wait, time to update that phrase: Somebody Plaxico me."

They're a team now.

Team Canada made that final early morning call to make the final cuts Monday.

Angelo Esposito finally... cracked the lineup.

Esposito was cut three times in a row. One especially fond memory was when he refused to chop off his long curly after coach Brent Sutter demanded the team to get a haircut. There has been concerns from NHL teams over his attitude (he dropped a few spots in the draft and was sent packing from the Penguins in the Hossa trade).

We'll see if those "attitude problems" surface during the tournament which starts in 10 days... when Canada takes on the Czech Republic.

The forwards are Esposito, John Tavares, Tyler Ennis, Jamie Benn, Zach Boychuk, Patrice Cormier, Stefan Della Rovere, Chris DiDomenico, Jordan Eberle, Cody Hodgson, Brett Sonne and Dana Tyrell.

goaltenders Chet Pickard and Dustin Tokarski.

The defencemen are Ryan Ellis, Keith Aulie, Cody Goloubef, Thomas Hickey, Tyler Myers, Alex Pietrangelo, P.K. Subban and Colten Teubert

Hickey will take the role of Captain Canada with Tavares, Hodgson and Boychuk as alternates.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Windy scores.

9-2 blowout.

The Pittsburgh Penguins destroyed the New York Islanders last night. Now... it is the Islanders, but nine goals is still very impressive.

Both Pascal Dupuis and Petr Sykora had a hatrick. Sidney Crosby managed four assists. Quietly after a slow start, Crosby is now on par for well over a 125 point season.

5-1 blownlead.

After two periods last night the Carolina Hurricanes thought that they had it tied up in a nice neat bow. That's until the Philadelphia Flyers scored four... countem, four unanswered goals in the third period. Two of which were from Scott Hartnell to complete his hat trick. Can I point out that Hartnell had 6 goals all season?

Just to rub salt in the wounds... Philadelphia won in a shootout. yuck.

Steve Downie

You know what's funny. I had this section already here earlier today. I was going to talk about Steve Downie and his cheap play. What's funny is Tampa Bay must agree? They sent Downie packing to the minors today.

I must say, I was first at bat when Jack Johnson laid him out with a juicy elbow near the end of the Canada - USA game at the World Juniors in Vancouver. But the more I think of it -- the more I think that it's probable that Downie verbally provoked him.

Last night Downie was running goaltenders and taking cheap shots during the Canadiens game last night. It's a wonder someone didn't pummel him. Which is something PJ Stock brought up after the game, nobody on Montreal seems to be coming to bat for their teammates. Laraque can't do it all.


Staying on the topic of Tampa. This might be a bit of bad timing since they finally did win a game last night (after a 9 game losing streak.) But is it fair to say that this team did way too much all at the same time. Back on August 30 I did a post titled, Tampa is going to be Ridiculous. .... Ridiculously bad is probably what it should've said.

At the end of last season they lost veteran player Brad Richards who had been with them since they drafted him. Richards and Vincent Lecavalier played together since they were 14. All through Notre Dame. Rimouski L'Oceanic, and then Tampa Bay Lightening. You can't just take a guy like Richards out of your lineup and go on like nothing happened. And Ryan Malone, won't fill the void.

Barry Melrose? That worked out well.

They brought in so many players who definitely charactar guys, but they were thrown into the mix together with a coach who was sent packing so it's pretty hard for chemistry to form. I mean, geez, they might as well have signed Sean Avery and Ray Emery.

Is Theo Fluery available?

You're a mean one... Mr. Grinch.

I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.

from cbc.ca,

Prime Minister Stephen Harper plans to fill all 18 vacancies in the Liberal-dominated Senate before Christmas, a spokesman for his office told CBC News.

A peice of the story from here in PEI, Hon. Percy Downe one of the Senator's has told the cbc that he's receiving phone calls from "prominent conservatives" asking for advice on how to get a Senate spot.

Everyone on the gravy train!!!

ok, back to work. I'll post some hockey news later.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

staring out the window at the CBC onto the sidewalk-less Charlottetown.

A quick post while I wait to leave for the day.

What do you call it? ... oxymoron?
I came across an interesting story on CBC.ca today... the Victoria Minor Hockey Association pays it's volunteers.

I suppose they're no longer volunteers, and are more... oh... you know... staff?

Clan MacDonald
This is something I became aware of a while back, but it seems that every person I mention it to is shocked by it.

CBC Correspondant Neil MacDonald (seen here with a very serious journalist face)

is brother to,

former SNL funny man... Norm MacDonald,

You're Welcome.

The Big Question.

Question: Will Alexei Kovalev ever score a goal this year?

Answer: Yes. When his euro-mullet grows back to magic status.

grab your bindle...

According to Ken Campbell's blog, Brett Hull will be sent packing along with Sean Avery.

"Members of the Dallas Stars management team will sit down today to discuss the future of Sean Avery and it likely won't be long before the man who insisted on signing Avery makes a decision on his own future.

Several NHL sources have indicated that within the next couple of weeks the Stars’ co-GM experiment with Brett Hull and Les Jackson will be history. Speculation is Hull will move to another area of the organization and will be out of the decision making process when it comes to hockey matters."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sundins new deadline: never.

so it appears that the latest deadline for Sundin to make his decision is Dec 15.

this is from MATTHEW SEKERES Globe and Mail column today:

"...though in some cases, Christmas Day has been cited as the real drop-dead date. Either way, Sundin is expected to be in a uniform by 2009, unless he pulls an about-face and decides to retire. Procrastination and indecision have been staples of his behaviour since the summer, so nothing can be discounted when it comes to the 37-year-old..."

He might live in Colorado...

... but he's definitely Canadian.

Who injures themselves with a snowblower?

DENVER - An accident with a snowblower will sideline Colorado Avalanche captain Joe Sakic until March.
Sakic underwent surgery to repair three broken fingers and tendon damage Tuesday night and is expected to miss three months.
The NHL team said the injury happened at his house Tuesday afternoon.
The 39-year-old forward was already sidelined by treatment for a herniated disc in his back.
There were hopes he would be ready to play again in January. Sakic will continue to receive treatment on his back while he recovers.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Jonathan Toews is a Monster

This computer is not letting me copy and paste the embed code so you can watch the video right from here... i'll fix it asap. In the meantime. Toews is a monster. All I gotta say.


Friday, December 5, 2008

Friday Recap

Douche McGee Update

A few comments from Avery's teammates:

Dallas forward Brad Richards went on record in Dallas yesterday, saying the team "doesn't want to talk about him any more ... hopefully it will be handled and that will be the end of it."

Off the record, one teammate told TSN: "We hope it's the last time we ever see him."

Another Stars player said, "Our locker room is the happiest it has been all year right now." And still another added, "An apology to the team won't work."

He's a cancer to any dressing room he's ever been in. And the Stars are nuts to have signed him in the first place. Let him head to Russia to play with Ray Emery.


I told my nine year-old son I was going to interview Bobby Orr on Wednesday. His response, word-for-word: “You mean that guy on the car commercials?” (Heavy sigh.)

I wish they’d make it a mandatory course in Canadian Elemetary School. “Your Thursday timetable, son: Math, Science, English, French, Orr.”

I’ve played weekend beer-league sports for my entire life. (I know what you’re thinking: “His whole life? Aren’t beer leagues inappropriate for nine year-old soccer players?” Hey, we grew up fast in Gloucester.) I’m still pretending to be an ath-ell-ete, playing in a couple of touch football leagues in the Toronto area.

Sundin Saga and #2 collide

One thing is for sure. Brian Burke has no intention on having Mats Sundin back on the leafs. No word from the man himself whether he's going to finally show up on a team and just play orrr retire into the background and play online poker.

Habs remember how to pass?

Last night the Habs won a convincing victory of 6-2. All the goals were nice passing plays. It appears (let's be cautiously optimistic...) that the Habs have taken my advice. Looked down at their sweaters. and remembered to pass to the players wearing similar colours. we'll see.

Canadian History, or lackthereof

And finally, this is for all the geeks out there. Parliament is now prorogued. And after a week of spin from both sides of the coalition, i'm astonished with the ease that some people lied and their lack of Canadian history knowledge. I think a few people need to get sent back to university to take Canadian History 1000.

One of the interesting things i heard was from Don Newman who said some spin doctors targeted Justin Trudeau who said that his father, former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau would have never sat down with the "separatists".

ummm. The elder Trudeau sat down numerous times with Rene Levesque to negotiate.

"and they wouldn't even have the Canadian flag behind them," said Stephen Harper... in the House of Commons.

Looks like a Canadian flag to me.....

And finally in Stephen Harper's address to the nation on Wednesday night he said that never has a government formed in parliament that was not elected by the people.

Oh ya?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Team Canada Picks.

Yes folks, i'm doing it already.

Now... as I have said before I'm a big believer in putting people on the team who are playing well and NOT INJURIED during the few months leading up to when the team is finalized in December. So, this is round 1 of picks.

Since the Olympics are still over a year away (the team will be finalized about a year from now) there will no doubt be cuts and additions to the team that I would like to see in Vancouver. One thing I can tell you for sure... no Todd Bertuzzi, no Kris Draper.


line 1: Dany Heatley Sidney Crosby Joe Thornton
line 2: Simon Gagne Vincent Lecavalier Jarome Iginla
line 3: Shane Doan Marc Savard Jonathan Toews
line 4: Brendan Morrow Mike Richards Ryan Getzlaf/Rick Nash

notes: Joe Sakic, is questionable. He's just sustained a long term injury and was already on the fence about returning for next season.


Dion Phaneuf, Chris Pronger,

Mike Green, Brian Campbell,

Shea Weber, Rob Blake,

Kevin Bieksa, Dan Boyle.

1. Martin Brodeur 2. Roberto Luongo 3. Carey Price

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year.....

...It's that time of year where i get giddy with joy.

Nope. Not Christmas.

It's more important than that.

We are less than 10 days away from the beginning of World Junior selection camp (Dec. 11-15). Where we as a nation spend our days scrutinizing the crap out of our young, promising hockey players. Amazing.

The camp is being held in Ottawa, since that is where the tournament is being played.

check out the roster for the selection camp.


"Carolina fires head coach Peter Laviolette, Paul Maurice reportedly takes over."

This screams greasy inside dealings.

It doesn't make a whole lot of sense if you ask me. Laviolette took them to the Stanley Cup in 2006. The team is currently sitting above .500 with a 12-11-2 record with 26 points putting them second in their division behind Washington.

They'd probably be better if Eric Staal wasn't in a slump in a major way: 15 points in 25 games (and 3 of them came in one game).

Their last couple of games (a losing streak) have been against contenders like Philadelphia and Anaheim. Hardly easy wins.

Although this is good for Maurice, who I think is a good coach. (He just made a bad team choice by becoming the sacrificial lamb in Toronto.) see: Toronto hires Brian Burke.

Canadian Press:
The Carolina Hurricanes have fired head coach Peter Laviolette, who led the team to the Stanley Cup in 2006.

The Hurricanes scheduled a news conference for 11:30 a.m. ET but confirmed the coaching change. TSN.ca reported that Paul Maurice will take over behind the bench.

The Hurricanes are eighth in the Eastern Conference at 12-11-2. Laviolette, a finalist for the Jack Adams Trophy as coach of the year in his championship campaign, was in his fifth season as
Hurricanes coach.

The 44-year-old native of Franklin, Mass., was named Carolina's 11th head coach on Dec. 15, 2003. Prior to joining the Hurricanes,

Laviolette coached two seasons with the New York Islanders. Laviolette also served as an assistant coach with the Boston Bruins in 2000-01 after two years of running Boston's American
Hockey League affiliate in Providence.

Douche McGee at it again.

Sean Avery dropped to a new low today.
After spending the summer degrading beloved NHL power forward Jarome Iginla, Avery decided to move away from NHL players... and go for shots on their girlfriends.

Takes a big man.

"I'm really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just wanted to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," said Avery referring to Elisha Cuthbert the current girlfriend of Dion Phaneuf. "I don't know what that's about. But, enjoy the game tonight."

Charming guy.

Sources tell me that next, he's going to kick a baby.
oh yeah. Avery was suspended "indefinitely" until he meets with Gary Bettman in his lair to discuss the matter.

Monday, December 1, 2008

You can't make this stuff up.

There's a website that claims to be written by David Frost with a featured blog by Mike Danton (formerly Jefferson).

It's fittingly called "hockey god online" since Frost seems to think he's God's gift to hockey.

This is probably my favourite lead to a story... ever:

A former Ontario hockey coach acquitted in a recent sexual exploitation trial has purportedly launched a website promising the inside skinny on the sport and a blog by a former NHL player currently in prison for a failed murder plot that allegedly targeted him.

Does that not sound like something out of a terrible midday soap opera?

For the rest of the dirtay details head here.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

coming to you live from dialup internet in PEI.

Saga #2 ends. Saga #1 continues.

Here’s the biggest surprise of 2008. Brian Burke is the new General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs. (Can you feel the sarcasm?)

Now, since this is such a big surprise, nobody’s been really talking about it for months and months. This, of course, means every possible angle of his tenure has not been talked about by every sports analyst in the country.

So this all means that I have a lot to say about this.

It's funny, saga #2 has resolved itself and yet Saga #1 is still going. Mats Sundin “says” he’ll be back in December. (Tomorrow is December). But he also said he’d make a decision by Aug 1. Soooo, don’t hold your breath.

Favourite quote of the week:

“The opposition has every right to bring down the government. But Stephane Dion has no right to take power without going to the people.”

Is Stephen Harper high? The opposition outnumbers the Conservatives.

In fact, I would say that whoever the coalition chooses to lead, they will have more of a right to govern than Stephen Harper. The majority of the country actually voted against him.

Finally some juicy drama out of Ottawa.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Coming to you live from the CBC.

Hey gang.

Sorry about the hiatus, I just started my internship at CBC Radio Charlottetown. My first day was yesterday. Still getting the hang of stuff, they threw me right into working.

I will probably start posting more regularly after I get the hang of this stuff.

I must say that I missed the Canadiens game, but Ryan O'Byrne apparently put the puck into his own net on a delayed penalty. He passed it back to Carey Price, who wasn't actually in the net. That actually tied the game for the Islanders.... and then they won in a shootout. Bill Guerin was credited with the goal.

Gold star, bud. In fact, take a hundred.

Saturday, November 22, 2008


The Senators rolled out their new third sweater today. Barf. This has got to be a joke, right?

It sorta looks like something the Anaheim Mighty Ducks woulda done when they actually officially had the "mighty" in their name.

It just screams Impact Bold, you know that font that was over-used in the 90s...

Now, the entire sweater isn't awful, it's really just the font of the name. I like the black, and the detailing is nice... It actually reminds me of the new Halifax Mooseheads third sweater, which gives that retro feel (even though the team is less than 20 years old). The obvious choice for the Senators would've been to go with their sweaters from back in the day, but the Ottawa 67s (the Major Junior team) uses that design.

So really, if the Sens had've gone with a font closer to the Halifax sweater, it would actually be really nice.

And I wouldn't have to write a blog post titled, "Puke".

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Time for our Thursday, random duthie-isms.

I don’t believe Ottawa ever had a good shot at signing Mats Sundin, but with every loss, you can add another zero after the decimal point on their odds (.00001% and fading)

As you may have heard, Claude Lemieux, he former most hated player in hockey, is making a comeback attempt at age 43.   He has signed with the Sharks.  Sadly for Claude, that would be the China Sharks of the Asia League of Ice Hockey.  Somewhere, Kris Draper is enjoying a long evil laugh.

I think it’s time for some old-school foaming-at-the-mouth-chucking-stuff-around-the-dressing-room Mike Keenan.  I miss him. 

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Saga #1 and Saga #2 collide.

I was just watching That's Hockey on TSN. And both sagas were mentioned in one Perfect Saga Storm.


It appears Mats Sundin is thinking about a mid-December return.

"Mats is currently training daily with the intention to return," Sundin's agent, J.P. Barry said. "He may still decide not to play, however, if his training regimen doesn't produce the results he expects."

So he might think about making a mid-December return.


The Toronto Maple Leafs' ownership group is expected to officially initiate contract negotiations with Brian Burke very soon.

I think this is a bad call for Toronto. I just don't know why yet.

Sometimes even if you think it's a good idea, you shouldn't do it.

Did this just happen? Is it real? Can I touch it?

My god. Someone lost their mind when they thought this would be a good idea. And my theory that every idea goes through at least seven people before it makes it to the general public is definitely in play here. What seven people were like, Slapshot 3? Great idea.

I mean, slapshot 2 was sacrilegious enough. But to make a third one.... I can't even talk about it. Next Question.


pfft. who needs it when you have electronic ballot stuffers...

"Forwards Alex Kovalev, Saku Koivu and Alex Tanguay, defencemen Andrei Markov and Mike Komisarek and goalie Carey Price are not merely leading every other player in their Eastern Conference categories. They are ahead by ridiculous margins, their monstrous numbers fuelled by computer-vote programs written to carpet-bomb, around the clock, for all six at once.

As of Sunday early afternoon, four days into balloting, Kovalev, Koivu and Tanguay had vote totals in the 190,000 range. The next closest forward, Pittsburgh's Sidney Crosby, was approaching 84,000"

That does explain it. I was extremely surprised to see the margins. I wouldn't say many of the Canadiens have had allstar-worthy performances thus far. But then again... Sidney Crosby has six goals in 18 games and he's behind the Montreal forwards...

Magic Mittens.

Kyle Wellwood just scored the nicest goal i've seen in a while. I believe that Gord Miller just said he had "magic mittens". Remember when Toronto put him on waivers? good call guys. as usual.

Also, when checking Wellwood's wikipedia entry, i found this gem: "As of November 2008, Wellwood is currently on a 121 game streak without taking a penalty, which is by far the longest active clean-streak. His last penalty was taken on April 10, 2006."

"How do you spell intimidation? L - U - O - N - G - O." - Pierre McGuire.

my favourite thing.

My favourite thing is when it snows. but it's like sort of raining. And then it's like super windy. Oh.... it's also really cool that I have to walk past the Halifax Common, which is a large open space. It's not windy at all there...... yeah.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Soul Searching.

Kovalev weaved his magic touch last night to win the game with the final shootout goal. 

Montreal shouldn't be going to a shootout with the St. Louis Blues. 

I can see the small vein in the side of Guy Carbonneau's neck beginning to pulsate everytime he hears the announcers say that the Canadiens powerplay is running 0 for 18. 

Yes. The top powerplay in the NHL for the past few years is 0 for 18. One of the main problems is the man himself: Kovalev. They need to stop trying to carry the puck into the zone. Dump, chase to the corner and then start your magical passing. Seriously, if you chase, you will win. You're fast. 
You can't very well put the puck on net if you can't even get into the zone and control it for a few seconds. 

Now, in my humble opinion, a second way to score is to look where your passing. I know, I know... this is outrageous...but trust me. Before you step on the ice, look down. What colour sweater do you have? Make sure you remember that. You seem to be forgetting. A lot.

The Canadiens have until tomorrow night to get their act together when they visit the Carolina Hurricanes. 

Saturday, November 15, 2008


I've seen Montreal play better.

They played the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. The final, 2-1, was much closer than the play actually was. Montreal forgot how to do that thing where the puck leaves one stick and ends up on the other.

The ice did seem abnormally bouncy, which puts a fast skating, passing team like Montreal at a disadvantage to a team that basically tries to skate directly through you. But nonetheless, much of the time it looked like the Flyers had a powerplay.

Alex Tanguay finally got the goal for the Canadiens, but not until midway through the third period. And they couldn't muster up much in the final half of the third to tie it, even with a man advantage with a few minutes left.

Mike Komisarek is out with a shoulder injury from the fight with Lucic on Thursday. There was a fight tonight, and it's the only thing Montreal won. Georges Laraque taught Josh Gratton a thing or two about fighting.

But if you're a Montreal fan and you're feeling sad, just think, you could be a Senators fan.

On Tuesday, after losing 5-0 to the Canadiens, I remember the TSN announcers saying, "well the good thing is, the Senators now have a home and home with the Islanders."

piece of cake, right?

Wrong. The Senators lost tonight, and they lost on Thursday. To the Islanders. I won't say anything else.

Don't worry Senators fans, I realize you need cheering up as well. Toronto lost to Vancouver 4-2. And here's a few duthie-isms from the Hall of Fame induction ceremony:

9:50—Post-show party. A guy asks me (and many others) to sign his dress shirt. I have two thoughts on this:
1. I hope it came from Winners and not Hugo Boss.
2. Why do women never ask me to do these things?

10:37—I am eating tofu (the buffet was bare) with Steve Yzerman, talking about women’s lacrosse.
My world is a strange, wonderful place.

Saga #2

Friday, November 14, 2008

And that just happened.

Melrose out as coach of Lightning.

And that just happened?

Rick Tocchet takes over as interim head coach.

cuz that's a lot better.

When it rains it pours in the NHL.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Remember when...

...Toronto was like looking for a General Manager, and they were allegedly courting Brian Burke, and they were getting in all kinds of trouble because, he was like, already in this contract with Anaheim, and you're not supposed to be all up in the grill of a guy when he's already under contract with another team...because it's sorta like cheating on your significant other with like, their best friend... and he was all like, noooo I love it in Anaheim I would never leave here.... it's like a family.... Toronto? no no. great opportunity but... not for me.


Burke is done in Anaheim. Yup mid-season divorce. Loving it now? Probs not, Burke is lovin this less than a fried chicken head in his McNuggets.

"This was the hardest decision I've ever had to make," he said. "I'm comforted that the team is in great hands with Bob and [assistant GM] David [McNab] in charge. I can't thank everyone enough for their understanding and patience as I wrestled with this decision."

Sighh... and so opens ongoing saga #2: The bidding battle for Brian Burke. In mid-season. And Toronto is involved. Therefore the Toronto media. Which includes Michael Lansberg on Off the Record. Seriously just hit me over the head and pass me the bottle of scotch right now.

(just for the record, saga #1 would be Mats Sundin, but will be continued to be known simply as, the sundin saga.)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Remembrance Day.

Canadians in Passchedaele.

Canadian soldier lays a wreath in Afghanistan.

Tomb of the unknown soldier in Ottawa.

Tomb of the unknown soldier, with the national war memorial behind (ottawa).

Vimy Ridge memorial. A tiny piece of Canadian land in France.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I can't even talk about this weekend.

Habs take 1 point out of a possible 4. yay.

Great job guys. Good penalty killing.

But it's not completely your fault. Good job NHL Schedulers... does Montreal get another week off for the third time in a row? You're spreading Kovalev's magic thin. It only works when he gets to play often. It keeps the magic warm.

The NHL scheduling team is killing Kovalev's magic.

Which is basically the same as a buzz kill.

Nobody wants to be a buzz kill.

Also it appears that Killer Kostopoulos will have his hit on Toronto's Mike Van Ryn looked at by the NHL. Van Ryn has a concussion and bled all over the ice. Killer Kostopoulos was ejected from the game.

And Jesus, Price (see the comma makes a big difference... take it out and it's Jesus Price, which is what I put for my religious views on facebook.) maybe you should go back to eating burgers and chocolate bars late at night... it seemed to work for you before.

And now for the wacky picture of the day...

This just looks plain crazy.

Thursday, November 6, 2008


I'm glad that I'm not the only one who couldn't possibly ignore the election. 

-I do love the wall of eight monitors we have in our studio. It’s hockey fan porn. Though it can get confusing. At one point Tuesday night, I got my fancy election graphics confused with my NHL Scoreboard and briefly believed Mike Fisher had been elected Senator of North Dakota.

-Does this mean Sarah Palin has been waived? Will we now see her dropping the puck in the East Coast Hockey League?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Excuse me while I don't blog about hockey for yet another day.

But last night was history.

It's the polar opposite feeling to the one four years ago.

I spent my night twisting through Halifax's downtown, checking out different election parties for a story.

This is one of those things that people will remember where they were when Barack Obama became the President.

I was standing in the Nova Scotia Sport Hall of Fame. Sidney Crosby's dryer was covered in empty drink glasses. There was a giant projection screen showing the results.

And I was amongst the black community in Halifax.

It was amazing.

Truly amazing.

They were so happy, joyful, tearful, jubilant.... relieved.

I had people telling me, that they never thought they'd see it happen in their lifetime.

People were in tears, and hugging, and just plain screaming. I had goosebumps.

So I leave you today with the story that came from that:

Sunday, November 2, 2008

No lead is safe.

Last night I was chatting online with a friend about the upcoming Canadiens game. The main concern was about Alexei Kovalev and Tomas Plekanec... and they're lack of doing anything this year. I personally blame the fact that Kovalev cut off his magical mullet.

We'll get back to that. First onto the game.

Quickly after my conversation about how I was worried about Kovalev, he scored 2 minutes into the game.

Annnnd then Mark Streit came back to haunt the Canadiens with a bullet from the point that deflected off of a Canadiens player and into the top corner. Oh Mark, we used to be friends... but something's changed. (Oh... it's the jersey. Right.)

Suddenly nearing the end of the second period and it's 4-1 Islanders. What the shhh... *click*

that was the sound of me changing the channel to the Pittsburgh game.

So the Penguins were playing the lowly Blues. The Penguins appeared to have quite a lot of jump in their step. But, whatever happened to Sidney Crosby did not look so good. He was expected to possibly miss last nights game due to an "undisclosed injury" but he took to the ice anyways. It looks like he has back spasms or something like that. Several times I saw him skate to the bench and I figured he wasn't going to come back on. Yet somehow he managed to get 2 assists.

This game started an hour later than the Montreal game so I was actually watching the first period of the game. Satan scored late in the first to make it 1-0 Penguins.

Ok. Ok. I feel bad... back to the Canadiens sinking ship, er, game.


Start of the Third period and the Canadiens are down 4-1. Oh boy. Smelling a comeback? It's the Islanders... it could be done.

The Canadiens actually do look very good in the third period. They're dominating the play, and buzzing around the Islanders net.

And then our dead man skating emerges. Tomas Plekanec scores two goals in two minutes. At this point, i've spilled chips all over the floor and i'm standing in front of the television clutching my last Propeller Pumpkin beer. The Islanders have already called their timeout after Plekanec scored his first goal, so that obviously worked really well.

Another four minutes and another goal. Chris Higgins puts one behind Yann Danis at 14:06 of the third period to tie the game 4-4.

You've got to be kidding me.

A little more than a minute later at 15:19, Kovelev returns from the dead. I mean sure he scored back in the first period. But midway through the game he took a high stick from noone other than former teammate Mark Streit. So he's got this bleeding gash on his cheek. This is just plain hilarious.

I kinda feel bad for Bill Guerin. He looks really depressed. I suppose I would be too, if I played on the Islanders.

The moral of this story. The Canadiens only have to play one period.

The other stuff.

The goalies are dropping like flies. Rick DiPietro is out 4-6 weeks because of knee surgery. And Martin Brodeur left the game last night with an elbow injury. Broduer was probably cursed since Hockey Night in Canada did a feature peice on him and how he's destined to break Patrick Roy's record.

The Toronto Maple Leafs scored five, COUNTEM, five third period goals to win 5-2 over the New York Rangers.

And Ottawa cannot seem to find it. They are sitting 12th in the standings after a shootout loss last night to the Tampa Bay Lightening. Good God, Tampa Bay??

And lastly i'd like to point out this craziness that is called weather in Halifax. Snow one day, 14 degrees the next:


I will post about the amazing come from behind victories of both Montreal and Toronto. But I haven't been able to gather my thoughts. So in the meantime... Duthie-isms.


"11:12pm—As I write this blog, I contemplate whether I should name the cable company that is so smart, it doesn’t offer NHL Centre Ice. I decide that would be small and petty.

11:13pm—I change my mind. Aurora Cable. AURORA Cable. A-U-R-O-R-A C-A-B-L-E.

11:15pm—I feel better."


-The following story requires no punch line. It stands alone. A nugget of information so glorious, so satisfying, the joy of it may just get me through the entire winter.

On November 6th, the country of Albania will bestow its highest honour on two native sons: Tie Domi and Jim Belushi. It was previously given to Mother Theresa. Domi...Belush...Theresa.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Extreme drunk driving.

From CBC.ca

A woman in Kingsville, Ont., has learned you don't have to be navigating a road to be charged with impaired driving.

The woman, 34, was arrested Thursday night after witnesses told police she was driving a Zamboni erratically at a local arena.

They said the ice-resurfacing machine struck the rink boards and missed sections of the ice.

At one point, witnesses reported the driver stopped on the ice and was slumped over the wheel.

The driver, who was described by police as being unco-operative, was arrested after guiding the machine off the ice surface.

The accused is due to appear in court in December on charges of impaired driving and having a blood alcohol level over the legal limit.

Friday, October 31, 2008

I wonder...

...if anyone told Alexander Semin that he's just having a streak?

Suddenly because Semin is tied with Malkin atop the scoring race, he thinks he's hot shit.

"What's so special about (Crosby)? I don't see anything special there," Semin said in an interview with Yahoo.com. "Yes, he does skate well, has a good head, good pass. But there's nothing else. Even if you compare him to Patrick Kane from Chicago . . . (Kane) is a much more interesting player. The way he moves, his deking abilities, his thinking on the ice and his anticipation of the play is so superb."

Well, all I can say is... Kane, buddy, all star game... don't drop the soap if Semin is there. I think he's in love with you.

Here's the rest of the crazy talk.

"I think that if you take any player, even if he is dead wood, and start promoting him, you'll get a star," Semin told the website. "Especially if he scores 100 points. No one is going to care about anyone else. No one is going to care whether he possesses great skill.

As opposed to the good players that score 100 points?

"Let's say you put someone in front of the net and let him deflect pucks in, and he scored 50 goals, everyone will say 'Wow!' and then hand him a $10 million-per-year contract. That's what they like here."

Hmmm, can't actually think of anyone who fits that description. Except Semin.

"In Russia people like beautiful hockey, and not dump and chase," Semin told Yahoo!.

Yes they also like players that whine about money (see: Yashin).

"I just don't get it, why when a player is skating up the ice and no one is attacking him, he dumps the puck into the offensive zone and then chases it? Why would you do this if there is no one forechecking you?

you mean backchecking, right?

"I understand that if there is someone coming at you and you don't know whether you can get past that player, then you can dump the puck, pass it or shoot. But if not, then hold on to the puck, skate forward, create a chance. Why would you want to dump the puck and then chase after it and crash into the boards? I don't know. But that's just my opinion."

create a chance at a concussion (see: Lindross).

Avery Interview

I posted about this the other day. Here's the full interview!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I've got nothing.

...except for this hilariously awesome picture of Martin Brodeur.

I don't think I need to elaborate.

From last night...

Journal entry: Wednesday, October 29, 2008 – 12:22 a.m.

I’m sitting in my living room. It’s absolutely quiet. And absolutely dark except for some tea light candles on the side table and the glow of my laptop as it runs on battery power. I’m writing this into Microsoft Word right now.

That’s crazy Jenn, Why would you do such a thing?

Well, earlier I was watching the Montreal Canadiens play the Carolina Hurricanes. It was in French, on RDS. I saw the opening ceremony. I saw a goal by Carolina to make it 1-0. I then saw quite a few close calls around the crease of Cam Ward. I then saw a goal by Alexei Kovalev to make it 1-1. As he was celebrating the television screen went black. The cable was out. Great.

Ok all is not lost. RDS streams their games on the internet. Oh… that’s right the internet is out too because it’s run from cable. Cool.

Our phone is also out as well. It’s run through the cable by the same company whom shall remain nameless (*cough cough eastlink*).

So I still didn’t have contact with the outside world by 11 o’clock. so I couldn’t even check the score.

Then the power went out.

I don’t know if you can tell. But I’m upset.

The weather is not particularly bad outside, definitely not bad enough to think the power would go out. But it’s gross enough to want to stay inside and watch the game.

Anyway, I finally got word from the outside world via text messages:

11:59 p.m. > “3-2 habs in a shootout. It was terrifying at the end when price put it over the glass with 2 minutes left in the third. Price was 3 for 3 in the shootout. Koivu scored the winner. Oh and tang scored on a pen(alty) shot earlier in the game. Was a good one for sure!”

Pretty good recap for text messaging if a do say so myself.

And so I suppose I should go to bed. I can’t charge my phone so I hope it lives through the night to wake me up.

End Journal Entry: Wednesday, October 29, 2008 — 12:38 a.m.

Monday, October 27, 2008

It wasn't a head shot.

First let's take a look at the hit in question.
Doug Weight hits Brandon Sutter:

Doug Weight does not lift his elbow or his shoulder. He is going for a normal hit. Brandon Sutter is reaching for the puck.

Why this is stupid:
- Sutter has lowered his head to shoulder height.
- Sutter is in the neutral zone. Has anyone learned anything from Eric Lindros?
- Hey Sutter! Were your laces tied? you were looking at them awful closely.

Doug Weight went in to stop Sutter from getting the puck and going for a skate. I don't think Weight expected Sutter to suddenly start reaching for the puck and stick his head into Weight's shoulder.

It's sort of like that time in a UFC fight when Rampage Jackson joked, "He really beat my hand up with his face."

It was a clean hit.

I wasn't going to post on this, as I thought it was pretty straight forward. During the television cast the commentators caught on pretty quick that Sutter lowered his head. And most others got it right away as well:

"Sutter, 19, spent Saturday night in the hospital after he was leveled by a hard, clean check from Doug Weight in the Hurricanes' 4-3 victory," said the Free Press.

"Sutter was hurt during Saturday's 4-3 win over Islanders after taking a hard but clean check from Doug Weight," said the Canadian Press.

But then I go over to TSN.ca and they have this piece of work using this Weight-Sutter hit as an example of how the NHL is ignoring hits to the head.

Todd Bertuzzi hits people in the head. Ryan Hollweg hits people in the head. When these guys do something f&%king crazy, go ahead and run this story. But there are hits that happen, and they happen to involve the head. Write your story tsn, but it should be about how players continually put themselves in these stupid and vulnerable positions.

Doug Weight is one of the cleanest players out there. I highly doubt he was head hunting. And if he knew Sutter was going to do what he did — he probably would've held back.

from TSN:

It was an all-too familiar scene for the Carolina Hurricanes on Saturday, when rookie winger Brandon Sutter went down with a concussion after a hit from former Hurricane and current New York Islander Doug Weight.

The Hurricanes have sustained four severe injuries in recent years, all resulting from shots to the head.

Sutter's concussion was the last straw for Carolina general manager Jim Rutherford, who suggested the league is paying lip service over its concern for players' safety when it comes to headshots.

"The league should at least stop saying it's concerned with hits to the head, because it's not," Rutherford told TSN.ca. "I've had four players - Erik Cole, Trevor Letowski, Matt Cullen and now Sutter - get badly injured on hits to the head and only one of the guys who hit them was suspended. So don't tell me the league is concerned about hits to the head because it's not."

"You can say it's a contact game and it is, and I'm fine with that," added Rutherford. "Just don't say you care about players getting hit in the head because you don't."

But policing becomes a complex issue with a part of a game that's technically not illegal and is deeply entrenched in hockey culture.

Many of these hits occur with a player getting caught with his head down so it's easy to preach against but not so simple to correct, given the pace of today's NHL.

The Montreal Canadiens, opponents of the Hurricanes on Tuesday, have their own story to tell, having lost Andrei Kostitsyn to a concussion last week.

Kostitsyn was injured when his head slammed against the glass and he landed face-first on the ice after being hit. by Kurt Sauer of the Phoenix Coyotes. He is awaiting medical confirmation to decide whether he will face the Hurricanes or miss his third game. The decision could come later today.

"They're trying to eliminate hits to the head and this was a hit to the head, whether or not it was intentional. He got him with his arm," Montreal head coach Guy Carbonneau said after the game.

Carbonneau wonders how long it will be before a player suffers a fate potentially worse than a concussion, such as former Hurricane Erik Cole, whose career and life were jeopardized.

Carbonneau suggests players need to make choices before hitting somebody in a vulnerable position. For the French press he drew a metaphor saying, "I've held a gun in my hand, but I've never wanted to shoot somebody."

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Dispatch: from the front lines.

I'm writing this crouched underneath a table. I figure the sky will fall fairly soon.

The Toronto Maple Leafs beat Ottawa.

It's only a matter of time. Duck and Cover.


And that's what happens when you don't play for a whole week. The Canadiens haven't played since Monday. It looks like Carbonneau should've just played Tanguay for the whole game. Because he was on fire.

Jaroslav Halak started the game because Carey Price had the flu. But Price ended up in the net in the end.

Holy Hockey Batman.

All teams are in play tonight! I heard that this is the first time that absolutely every team is playing at once in a while. Something about the lockout was mentioned. Or 2005? meh. There's a lot of hockey tonight.


"And he went after me when he was on Stopulopulus," said Don Cherry on Coaches Corner tonight.

He was referring to the comments made by Sean Avery when he was a guest on The Hour, hosted by George Stroumboulopoulos. Close Don... real close. (Actually it's a helluva lot closer than i would've expected. But I can't give you any points since you actually work in the same damn building as him.)

Bad Prediction?

Um, so far the Lightening are playing like the women's Italian hockey team. Apparently the team is in disarray. On the Satelitte Hotstove, Al Strachan even said that the players are not on the same page. He also said that the GM came into the locker room at intermission during the Europe trip.

They lost 3-0 tonight.

Palin injures Manny Legace.

Okay. Okay. She didn't injure him directly. But he did trip over her red carpet and suffered a "lower body injury". Palin, her husband, and entire hoard of children dropped the ceremonial puck at the game in St. Louis tonight.

Anyway T-10 days until the election. If there is any type of big dude with a beard in the sky... hopefully we won't have to deal with her much longer.

Now I'm the Magician.

Now that i've got that ridiculous story out of the way, I'm going to apologize for my long absence from the world of blogging nerd-dom (how do you spell that?). This was my first week in radio workshop at school. So there was a bit of a learning curve. You can check out past shows. Ok, it's not a great excuse. So there was this pack of wild dogs....


Last year's MVP is off to a super-slow start that has people wondering what's happened to the league's top player. The other day a wise person said, "stay off the drugs, stay on the booze."

Have some beer, man. I always do my best work half in the bag. Maybe it'll break your curse!


Being away for so long has also meant we're way behind on duthie-isms. We're basically up to our ears in them right now. I don't know why I say we, as if there's a crack team of journalists putting together this blog. It's just me. One day... one day. ummm, enjoy:

"When Torts eats pizza, he just looks so happy. Hard to believe it's the same guy whose post game soundbites have more beeps than a Roadrunner cartoon."

"“Hey Wilson, you need to turn those guys into a bunch of Wendel Clarks’!” Wilson, who majored in Sarcasm at University, responded: “Wendel was good, but how many Cups did he win?”"

"Hey, Sean Avery. Got a minute? Really sorry to bother you…hate to be a nuisance…but if it’s not too much of an inconvenience…I was just wondering if you might possibly…SHUTUP!

"It would provide me great pleasure if rookie Toronto rookie defenseman Luke Schenn married former world champion figure skater Lu Chen. Just say it aloud a couple of times. It’s endless fun for all ages."