BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA......

.....sigh.... BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


phew, excuse me... this just came in over our wire services here at work:

"NHL: Canadian Press NewsAlert

OTTAWA _ Ottawa Senators sign Alex Kovalev to two-year contract.<"




..... HAHAHAH BRYAN MURRAY YOU FOOL!!! Good luck with that one...

Dear Ottawa Senators,

I feel like I've been writing to you a lot lately. But you just don't seem to be listening. Is it me? What can I do? I'll change, I swear. Please, just hear me out...

I know your coach is saying "at this time of year it's real easy to throw in the towel, but you're not going to do that... blah blah blah, useless to win, but we're stupid like the leafs and are going to keep winning because we hate ourselves, our fans and most of all victor hedman.... "

But....

Do that.

Maybe you're confused about how to do it, having leaf-itis can do that to you. Let me help, it's simple:

1. Take towel.
2. Throw it in.
3. Please.

Cheers,
Jenn (and Canadiens fans, who realize the Habs need all the help they can get staying in a playoff spot).


Oh and...

Anytime a reporter can use "snazzy" in an article... well it's pretty much the best.

From Canadian Press:

"Carbonneau wore a snazzy grey suit and a big smile as he entered the room and joked that he was 'almost starting to miss you (reporters).'"

Tight race in the East.

The Islanders are atop the standings — just barely. But they've won their last two games, whereas the Lightening who have equal amounts of games left are on a fantastic losing streak — they're really bringing it.

But the big story in this cluster-eff is the Atlanta "giant killers" Thrashers. They beat Montreal and then Calgary this past week.

They are seriously dropping the ball here. If the sport Extreme Ball Dropping existed, this would be it.

They're actually in danger of falling behind the Ottawa Senators, who have been shaky recently with two wins.

But despite the recent lack of determination by the Senators (and unluckily for the Thrashers), the Senators have two games at hand to completely get destroyed in. They also have two games left against Toronto — and the chances are good the Senators will prevail and lose both, since the Leafs are late-season choke artists, and always seem to win down the stretch.

Look out Atlanta, you're in dangerous territory here. You better get your act together.

Dear Senators,

Even the Hockey Gods want you to lose and get Victor Hedman.

OTTAWA - With the Ottawa Senators needing every point they can muster down the stretch to maintain their slim playoff hopes, just about the last thing they needed was to lose one of their stars for any length of time.

But the Senators, 13 points out of an Eastern Conference playoff spot heading into their game Thursday against Vancouver, learned they'll be without captain Daniel Alfredsson indefinitely due to a fractured jaw.

Yes they can('t).

It's slightly less sad than watching the Leafs fans hope — but still sad nonetheless.

your duthie-ism fix:

Don't lie, yee citizens of Sens Nation. I know you are doing the math.

"Let's see, if we go 21-6, and Sabres go .500...and the Panthers trade Boumeester...and all the Hurricanes get mono...and the Rangers...umm...forfeit...hey we're in! And the way the Habbies are goin', Heck, we might get home ice advantage still!"

dear ottawa,

What in the EFF did I just tell you. You're like the puppy that pisses all over the floor.

You fired Craig Hartsburg? Really? After I just told you, you were doing so well. I take it back. No, don't try to argue with me. The damage has been done. You're such a jerk, Ottawa. He was perfect for you guys. You were losing, famously! And right before Valentine's Day... tsk tsk.

Just thought i'd let you know... this is very counter-productive. Firing the coach mixes it up. It usually rallies the troops (at least for a few games...) But even if it is just for a few games... you don't need your troops rallied. Why would you try to rally the troops?

I know that your owner thinks that in 35 games you'll be able to get your shit-show train-wreck back on the tracks, but he's obviously insane. There's no other explanation. I've spoken to Ottawa fans, they all secretly enjoy this spiral into the cellar, because they know the reward. Unlike those other fans who cheer for that team in blue and white, they know that losing now (and losing spectacularly) is the key to Hedman.

Brian Murray, I just want to point out that you are the GM of the Ottawa "pants-pooping" Senators. Not the Toronto "will-always-be-mediocre-and-will-never-get-that-coveted-top-draft-pick-because-they-keep-winning-enough-games,-but-not-enough-to-make-the-playoffs" Maple Leafs.

I hope you clean up your act Murray. Geez.


Top Ten Ways to make All-Star weekend better.
a little late, but written gold takes time people!

1. fire. doesn't matter what's one fire. but something should be.
   
2. always have it in Montreal.
3. free booze. since the game will now always happen in Montreal... this shall fuel widespread street brawling and looting. everyone loves hooliganism.
4. nhl vs. khl? now there's a gongshow waiting to happen. And perhaps some bench brawls if they let Emery come (see: Emery tries to murder waterboy. video at the bottom of this post).
5. Bruce Springsteen.
6. Maggie the Monkey.
7. no more commentators. make them compete in the skills competition. And secretly tell the players they get extra points if they injure one.
8. Fans are encouraged to bring an extra pair of shoes.
   
9. Someone force Sidney Crosby into a goddamn pair of skates.
   
10. remember that commercial where Jarome Iginla is running through a city dodging random flying pucks, which we eventually figure out are being shot from a roof by Markus Naslund (sorry folks, i couldn't find it on youtube... not that i looked too hard). That should be an event. Hmm maybe we could involve the commentators in this one. Ron MacLean versus Pierre McGuire. I like it.
    

Duthie-ism of the day.

Duthie had his own list of ways to better some of the events, I personally like this one a lot, let's add it as an un-offical #11.

"The shooting accuracy competition should replace its old-fashioned blue and red targets with pictures of Sean Avery's face. Dion Phaneuf, Jarret Stoll, their girlfriends, and any Dallas Star will be allowed to participate. Shooting accuracy scores will skyrocket."


Emery, just give up and become a UFC fighter.

Keep on truckin' Ottawa.

Ottawa is awesome.

Wait. Before you question whether I've truly lost my mind, hear me out.

I know that the Senators lost yet again last night, (now to be fair, it was 4-1 to the Devils who have won 6 in a row now.) But moving on... yes, I did notice that Ottawa re-assigned Martin Gerber to the minors. And Yes I absolutely noticed that the Senators are jockeying for the bottom spot in the Eastern Conference.


But that's exactly why Ottawa is awesome. They are great... at sucking.

They're losing. There's no real turning the season around now. So just keep losing. This is something that the Toronto Maple Leafs have failed to do for about three years now.

Continually they get this late-season glimmer of useless hope and win a bunch of games down the stretch, only to finish 10th. Good draft picks are available in the middle of the first round. But great draft picks are first.

Last three years: Steven Stamkos, Patrick Kane, Erik Johnson (but I would argue Teranna woulda taken Jordan Staal).

Instead of sort of throwing your season. Why not go out in a fiery blaze of glory. Suck... like no other team has sucked before. KA-BOOM!

Mr. Victor Hedman, Welcome to the Ottawa Senators, you're in for a ride.

Time for our Thursday, random duthie-isms.

I don’t believe Ottawa ever had a good shot at signing Mats Sundin, but with every loss, you can add another zero after the decimal point on their odds (.00001% and fading)

As you may have heard, Claude Lemieux, he former most hated player in hockey, is making a comeback attempt at age 43.   He has signed with the Sharks.  Sadly for Claude, that would be the China Sharks of the Asia League of Ice Hockey.  Somewhere, Kris Draper is enjoying a long evil laugh.

I think it’s time for some old-school foaming-at-the-mouth-chucking-stuff-around-the-dressing-room Mike Keenan.  I miss him. 

Yuck.

I've seen Montreal play better.

They played the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. The final, 2-1, was much closer than the play actually was. Montreal forgot how to do that thing where the puck leaves one stick and ends up on the other.

The ice did seem abnormally bouncy, which puts a fast skating, passing team like Montreal at a disadvantage to a team that basically tries to skate directly through you. But nonetheless, much of the time it looked like the Flyers had a powerplay.

Alex Tanguay finally got the goal for the Canadiens, but not until midway through the third period. And they couldn't muster up much in the final half of the third to tie it, even with a man advantage with a few minutes left.

Mike Komisarek is out with a shoulder injury from the fight with Lucic on Thursday. There was a fight tonight, and it's the only thing Montreal won. Georges Laraque taught Josh Gratton a thing or two about fighting.

But if you're a Montreal fan and you're feeling sad, just think, you could be a Senators fan.

On Tuesday, after losing 5-0 to the Canadiens, I remember the TSN announcers saying, "well the good thing is, the Senators now have a home and home with the Islanders."

piece of cake, right?

Wrong. The Senators lost tonight, and they lost on Thursday. To the Islanders. I won't say anything else.

Don't worry Senators fans, I realize you need cheering up as well. Toronto lost to Vancouver 4-2. And here's a few duthie-isms from the Hall of Fame induction ceremony:

9:50—Post-show party. A guy asks me (and many others) to sign his dress shirt. I have two thoughts on this:
1. I hope it came from Winners and not Hugo Boss.
2. Why do women never ask me to do these things?

10:37—I am eating tofu (the buffet was bare) with Steve Yzerman, talking about women’s lacrosse.
My world is a strange, wonderful place.

Disaster.

Ok, it's one thing for a team to crash and burn. But it almost seems like the Senators organization is helping. Case and point, the giant mural that the organization has posted outside of the visitor's dressing room. The mural depicts the Senators handing the Penguins a playoff exit last season. Talk about inspiring revenge.



Game four is tonight, and we might be seeing something similar to this mural as the Penguins are one win away from moving on to the second round.

Ouch.

Okay. I must admit. The opening for the game was SO COOL. If you didn't catch game 3 of the Penguins and Senators series, it was the first home game for Ottawa in the playoffs. It opened with a guy dressed up like a Senator (not the Parliamentary kind). And he gave a Gladiator-esque speech. Although in my head I kept thinking he was giving a "Spartan-esque speech" which would also be known as a speech of knowing doom. "Tonight we dine. ON THE GOLF COURSE!!!!"

On top of all of these theatrics, Daniel Alfredson made his return to the lineup. And it seemed — for a short fleeting moment — that the Senators might make a series out of it. And then the Penguins scored. again. again. and again. I am going to be shocked if Ottawa pulls out the win in game four.

In some Habs news, Tomas Plekanec admitted in an interview scrum today that he "played like a little girl" the last two games. Later coach Guy Carbonneau quipped, "well it wasn't like a little girl". Plekanec has one assist in the last two games.

Dave Nonis was fired as Vancouver Canucks General Manger today. I was watching the TSN hockey panel react to this, and I must admit I agree with Bob MacKenzie. Nonis probably should have had another year to prove himself. He is the engineer behind the steal of the century: Todd Bertuzzi and Alex Auld for star goaltender Roberto Luongo (ok maybe it wasn't the trade of the century, but it was huge). And most of the Canucks defense were injured all year. And the Canucks only missed the playoffs by three points.

And of course there was Avery-gate. If you missed the Rangers and Devils play last night, pest Sean Avery stood facing goaltender Martin Brodeur and waved his stick in Brodeur's face, screening the play. I thought it was hilarious, but it obviously had to be nipped going forward. But I think some people took it a bit too seriously.

overtime heroes.

The Bruins and Canadiens played back to back games Saturday and Sunday and both games went to overtime, with each team having a hero steal the win. The teams next face off on Tuesday, the Canadiens lead the series 2-1. Canadiens did not play well in either game, expect Carbonneau to have a fit and the Habs to bounce back. Looks like they might not have taken the Bruins seriously, and who can blame them, they have beaten them 13 straight up until last night.

Another interesting game will be the the Senators and Penguins game that is on tonight (8pm AST). Interesting, because we wonder will the Senators actually show up tonight. There is a possibility that after last game they're so mad they might actually make an appearance tonight and they are playing at home. or not.

Canada wins World Curling Championship


Canada's team Martin won 6-3 over rivals Scotland. The men follow up on the recent win by Canada's women (Team Jennifer Jones) so Canada owns both titles for 2008!

Self Destruction.

Ottawa Senators are looking like they're going to get shut out yet again. They're down 3-0. Somehow they manage to crawl back to tie the game. With a minute and a half left... Martine Lapointe takes a high sticking penalty. It's over. Self Destruction at it's best. And unlike previous years the team can't blame their goaltending. Gerber stopped 49 of 53 shots!! Poor guy. The team lost their cool, with Jason Spezza firing a puck at the ref and the post game interviews were anything but civil. The Senators are now going back to Scotiabank Place down 2 games to 0. And really I don't expect it to get any better there. Check out this article by Elliotte Freidman who tries to explain the terribleness.

And males across the country could be heard cringing when they saw Patrick Thoresen take a slapshot to the area no man wants to be hit in. Reports from the hospital are saying Thoresen may lose a testicle.

TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT!

In.

Ottawa in. Philadelphia in. Boston in. Washington in (as long as they win tomorrow night). Which means that Carolina is out (unless Washington loses.)

saturday Saturday SATURDAY!

IT'S ALL COMING DOWN TO SATURDAY!

I don't even know where to start with this. I cannot think of a season in recent memory that has been so close, with just one or two games remaining.

Let's start with the top. The Penguins and Canadiens are tied atop the Eastern Conference, each respective team has won their division already but who gets the Conference title goes down to who can pull out a win on Saturday.

The Carolina Hurricanes, sit atop the Southeast division, but they sit on top of a shaky deck of cards. If the Hurricanes lose and the Washington Capitals win their last game, (coincidentally they both play their final game against the Florida Panthers) then they would jump from 8th right into 3rd spot because the Capitals would take the Southeast Division title. This would leave Carolina sitting in 8th with the Philadelphia Flyers (who have two games remaining) with just one point to make up.

Currently position 4 and 5 are taken by the New Jersey Devils and the New York Rangers, both have two games remaining and have also clinched a playoff spot. The last two games are for seeding only. What is interesting is that these two teams sitting in fourth and fifth have clinched a playoff position, yet the division leader of the Southeast hasn't clinched one yet. (as per scenario involving Hurricanes, Capitals above).

Down to sixth spot. The Senators. The poor, poor Senators. Remember the glory days. Of course you do... they were 4 months ago. The team was ripping up the NHL. The next Stanley Cup Champions. But they fell apart. They sit in sixth with 94 points. They have one game remaining. Boston, just two points back have two games remaining. Do the math. And although the Capitals have just one game remaining, they stand to move to third position if they win, and we already talked about the scenario with the Hurricanes. What if the game goes to overtime? That would leave the Canes with 93 points. If the Senators lose their last game. They're in 9th. But that's only if everything I talked about goes the way I planned... I mean... predicted.


Now that I've analyzed the Eastern Conference to death, let's do the West....


Oh gawd, I'm so kidding. See you after Friday's games.

Not a great year to be a Senator

I know... I haven't been around the past few days. I've been working all day and then have been dragged off to some local watering hole by friends. It's that time of year in Canada. We're all starting to go a little loopy waiting for winter to end. And gosh darnit, a nice Mojito really hit the spot. So there's lots to talk about. Let's get started.

NHL
Anyway. The Habs pulled out a huge win last night at home... wait, no they weren't at home. It just felt that way. Scotiabank Place was about half full of screaming, noisy, Canadiens fans, who could be heard chorusing "ole, ole, ole!" right from puck drop. To top it off Carey Price got a shutout (3-0) and those fans sang a rendition of "Goodbye" to the Senators in their own rink.

A couple amusing points around this game. Previous to the game Jason Spezza was asked if his team wasn't performing because they were "lazy". Spezza responded with, "That's Bullshit, that's bullshit". Most hockey pundits last night expected the team to come out angry and pull out a win. Perhaps this would be true, if Jason Spezza wasn't too lazy to even commit to being lazy.
Also there are two games left and the once-mighty Senators (who in early November were touted to be the ones to finally bring home the Stanley Cup to Canada) need to win these last two games or risk not making the playoffs.

Conversely, the Canadiens tied up the top spot in the Northeast, are guarenteed at least the top two seeds, and are neck and neck with the Pittsburgh Penguins for the Eastern Conference title.

Curling

Jennifer Jones and Team Canada captured the World Curling Championship in front of the home town crowd in Vernon, British Columbia. The Final grabbed record television ratings and it also marked the first time an Asian team would finish in the medals, with China finishing with a silver.

QMJHL PLAYOFFS! Round 1 Games 5 and 6

The Halifax Mooseheads were back into their old form. Winning game 5 and 6 by healthy margins (7-2, 7-0) to win the series. Next up: Cape Breton Screaming Eagles. aka the Battle of Nova Scotia.

Sens Losing Faith?

check out this story from the Canadian Press:

Sens turn focus away from winning division and towards securing playoff

Canadian Press
Mar 25, 2008, 12:00 AM EDT

MONTREAL - When the Ottawa Senators reeled off 13 wins in their first 14 games of the season, the question buzzing around their locker room was whether or not they could challenge for the best season in NHL history.

But now, after compiling a mediocre 28-27-7 record since, the Senators are wondering whether or not they'll be playing meaningful hockey come playoff time.

Ottawa's 7-5 loss to the Montreal Canadiens on Monday dropped the Senators seven points out of the Northeast Division lead, essentially knocking them out of contention for the division title and the automatic top-three playoff seed that comes with it.

But that was not the biggest concern for Sens GM and head coach Bryan Murray.

"Are we going to make the playoffs?" he asked. "That's what we have to decide first."

Of course, for the Senators to miss the playoffs would require a complete meltdown over their final six games. Three wins would assure them of a spot, but even two wins should be enough to hold off the ninth-place Washington Capitals who sit seven points back of Ottawa with six games left.

"This is no time to panic," said Senators centre Jason Spezza, who extended his points streak to seven games with a third period goal. "If we panic now we may as well pack it up and go home for the year. There are a lot of people who are going to doubt us right now, and if we can't believe in ourselves we have no chance of winning this thing."

However, as unlikely as missing the playoffs would be for the Senators, it's hard to believe the team is in a position to even keep the debate alive considering this season's hot start and last year's run to the Stanley Cup final.

"We're obviously not going to be the favourites going into the playoffs now," said Ottawa captain Daniel Alfredsson, who had three assists Monday. "Maybe that will suit us just fine."

Ottawa's last two games in particular have been of concern, blowing a 4-2 lead against the Toronto Maple Leafs on Saturday to lose 5-4, and then falling behind 7-1 against Montreal before coming back with four goals in the third period to make it respectable.

Over a span of just over three periods in those two games, Ottawa was outscored 10-1.

"Losing the lead the other night and coming out the way we did is obviously not good," said Sens sniper Dany Heatley, who scored twice Monday night. "We haven't played that well for the last two games, we realize that. But we're going to play better in the next six games and get in the playoffs."

— 30 —

Wow. I think that would be the ultimate crash and burn. I doubt it'll happen though.

Habs, Leafs, Sens and Pens

Habs pulled out a shootout win over the struggling Boston Bruins, the Canadiens swept the season series. Boston did of course manage to get a point out of the ordeal which bodes well in keeping them in the playoffs. Judging by the way the season series went, it would be in the Canadiens best interest to have Boston stay in the playoffs. Koivu was the only player to score in the shootout, as Boston placed some questionable shooters in their list. Chara, Kessel and Wideman?


The Leafs and Sens played each other last night as well. Basically, I think it's funny when the Leafs manage to beat the Sens, but also I hate that the Leafs still think they have a chance at making the playoffs. The Leafs beat the Sens 5-4. Poor poor Ottawa. Stupid stupid Toronto.

And New Jersey who? New Jersey forfeited SEVEN goals to the still Crosby-less Penguins and managed to score only 1. Malkin topped 100 points with a 3-point night.



After last night the Penguins picked up a 2 point lead on the Devils and now lead the Atlantic Division. The Canadiens remain in first place in the Northeast as well as the Eastern Conference and now have a 5 point lead on the Senators (thanks to the Leafs). And Carolina still leads the Southeast (but Washington is closing in, with only 5 points separating the two now.)

Huge non-game game

After the Canadiens managed to reclaim the top of the Northeast division with a 3-0 win over the New York Islanders—today was a huge non-game game day. The Ottawa Senators who were idle yesterday and had a game in hand over the Canadiens were playing the Carolina Hurricanes today. Well...Dany Heatley was playing, and i only say that because he got the only goal to Carolina's five. So the Canadiens sit in second spot. I will mention, if playoffs started today, I would love the way the standings turned out. I would really love to see the Canadiens play the Bruins in the first round, the Bruins can't seem to catch a break against the Canadiens.

Montreal's third period was akin to the Ottawa Senator's second half of the season——meltdown. Each team managed to score a goal early in the game and it stayed that way until the colossal meltdown in the third period. The icing on the ugly ducklings cake was a short handed goal right after they had just scored the go-ahead goal... yes, the ducks scored shorthanded on montreal's powerplay.

The game was full of shots as Carey Price faced 35 shots which for he most part handled very well, with lots of them very good chances from in close.
But lets go back to that first goal that Todd Marchant scored for the Ducks 21 seconds in. First of all, i'm pretty damn sure that Doug Weight touched the puck before it crossed the line. And Doug Weight was standing behind the net and reached over the crossbar... hmm...

"An apparent goal scored by an attacking player when any part of his stick makes contact with the puck above the height of the crossbar of the goal frame shall not be allowed. The determining factor is where the puck makes contact with the stick. If the puck makes contact with the stick below the level of the crossbar and enters the goal, this goal shall be allowed."

Anyway, regardless, the Habs lost the game 3-1 and didn't bother to try and pull Carey Price as they were shorthanded near the end of the game. Speaking of, this game was penalty city. And unfortunately for the Canadiens it was them killing them off.

The team is expected to try and head back to Montreal right after they finish up with this game, ETA in Trudeau airport is 4am! Next game is Tuesday against the Devils, which is a HUGE game as the two teams are battling amongst the top of the Eastern Conference standings.