Friday, March 6, 2009

Unfortunate end.

Gary Roberts played a very anticlimactic final game in the NHL.

He was last in the lineup with the Tampa Bay Lightening on March 1 against Calgary (he got 1 assist). The Lightening placed Roberts on waivers previous to the March 4 NHL trade deadline.

However he was not picked off waivers by the time the trade deadline rolled by on Wednesday. And his $2million dollar contract has him squeezed out of Tampa Bay because of their salary cap situation.

Since breaking into the league in 1986 with the Calgary Flames Roberts became one of the fearless leaders in the NHL. A character "glue" guy, who would rather block a shot with his face then have it go in the net.

In recent years, his off-ice conditioning became legendary. players started noting that he was one of the fittest guys in the NHL (the guy was doing crazy mountain bike races in the off-season for fun!)

He even took on legendary status while playing with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Gaining almost cult status as fans (and media) began comparing him to Chuck Norris.

If you ask me, the Lightening effed this one up. They signed him in the off-season — they should have made sure they had room for him. This is no way to treat a veteran player. There's some cliche out there about karma being a bitch... yah.

If you ask me, Roberts is just another victim of the absolutely disastrous Tampa Bay management team.

Monkeys could manage a herd of cats better.

TSN is reporting that the Lightening will make an official announcement about Roberts' retirement today. Official or not — I think it's a sad end to a storied career.

And so, sadly, I leave you with some last What Would Gary Roberts Do's:

  • Gary Roberts does not shoot the puck. The puck seeks to escape Gary as fast as possible to the relative safety of the net.
  • Gary Roberts does not have a gym membership. The gym has a Gary Roberts membership.
  • Every day, Gary Roberts meditates for one hour. This is the only time the rest of the NHL can relax.
  • Georges Laraque named his fists Gary and Roberts.
  • The grass is always greener on the other side. That is, unless Gary Roberts has been on the other side. In that case, the grass is most likely the color of blood and tears.
  • Gary Roberts ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. And he got one.
  • What's known as UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use it's full name, which happens to be "Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Gary-Roberts-Division."

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