Because I can't bear to think about this season anymore.

The obvious choice to distract myself from the math of the final 15 games of the season is to mull over... Who the Canadiens choose as their new coach in the off-season?

John Tortorella.

Quite frankly I think they missed the boat on this one, but you never know... the way they go through coaches/players in New York, he could be looking for a job come summertime.

Anyway, back to that missing the boat thing... Torts was hired by the New York Rangers (after spending most of the season despising 'the quiz' as an analyst on TSN) just a week before Gainey fired Guy Carbonneau. Torts is the ultimate distracter (not a word... hmm. oh well). His team is playing like a house league hockey team and he starts dropping f-bombs and making fun of the other team's coach. Suddenly every reporter gets amnesia, forgets the top scorer is not scoring and the team lost and starts debating whether Torts hates the media.

Just think of Torts swearing in a brand new language. Beautiful.

Marc Crawford.

is annoying us all each week on CBCs Hockey Night in Canada so he might as well annoy us from behind the Canadiens bench. He's won the Coach of the Year and a Stanley Cup with Colorado in 1996.



Patrick Roy.

......

.....

........


Okay, now that you've finished laughing. Think about it.

Roy has kissed and made up with his old team. (They retired his jersey this season and he gave a heartfelt speech at the ceremony).

But most importantly he has coaching experience, unlike a lot of retired NHLers who decide to jump right in as an NHL coach. Roy has been coach of the Quebec Rempart of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League since 2005 and led the team to a Memorial Cup in that same season.

He's had his fair share of run-ins with the media during his tenure with the Remparts, but that's Roy. He'd certainly force Carey Price to stop eating a bag of oreo cookies every night.


Jacques Lemaire.

Lemaire has been the coach of the Minnesota Wild since the team's creation in 2000. However right now the Wild are sitting in ninth — one point out of the playoffs. If the team fails to make it, or has a quick first-round exit. Lemaire might be out of a job. The 1994 and 2003 Coach of the Year had a short stint with the Canadiens in 1983-85 but I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to return to the team where he won eight Stanley Cups as a player.

His ability to communicate with players would be a plus. The minus, his trap-minded style might not be the best fit for the fast-skating, run and gun style fo the Canadiens.

Patt Quinn.

I've spoken to a few fans who've said they'd disown the Canadiens if they hired Quinn. But it's quite a possibility. The Canadiens need someone who can deal with the media.. Pat Quinn spent an eternity in the centre of the universe. What better training?

Craig Hartsburg.

Because coaching was the problem in Ottawa... clearly the problem was not the goaltending or the players. Both were stellar.

One of the other Sutter brothers.

Why not.



I'm sure there are several other coaches that will inevitably lose their jobs/are available currently. And it's fairly probably Bob Gainey will choose someone fairly whack. But whatever, i've been distracted from real problems (and schoolwork) for a good hour writing this.


Quote of the Night: "Next up, Lightening. Senators. To the loser goes the spoils." - Corey Worren, TSN.