Saturday, March 14, 2009

Hey, do you know who I am!!!

Listen, I'm all for stealing things away from the Centre of the Universe.

They get real uptight about stuff like that and it makes me laugh. I'm also all for making fun of the Centre of the Universe. Everyone's cracked a good ol' Teranna joke in their day. I mean, c'mon, they make it so damn easy.

Snow falls in this country, what? eight? nine months of the year? Nobody else called in the army. Just sayin'. And then summer finally arrives and the 24-hour news channels have their reporters out complaining about how damn hot it is ... meanwhile, it's about 5 degrees in Halifax and it's just rained for the past 27 days. Wicked guys, nobody cares about your "heat wave".

hmmm, what was my point?

Oh yah.

But after all the jokes, and all the disdain, I don't believe in stealing hockey things away from Toronto. Toronto needs all the hockey love they can get. I was once told by an old wise hockey man that apparently there's some form of hockey-god-karma for Toronto written into the hockey-god-bible in repayment for having the worst team ever. It's possible this old wise hockey man simply had too many Alexander Keiths, but who wants to take the chance...

Gary "sacrelig" Bettman, that's who.

The fans love the awards in Toronto. Every year there's tons of rowdy fans in the seats. It makes it fun. (I mean, seriously, how else will hockey fans in Toronto get to be in the same building as NHLers in JUNE. Low blow? sorry.)

But for at least the next three years the NHL Awards will be held in Las Vegas.


I really can't see anyone getting too worked up for the NHL Awards in Vegas. In fact, I'm fairly certain the June 18 ceremony will probably bring out more people star-watching for Elisha Cuthbert, Hillary Duff and Carrie Underwood ... and Trish Stratus? Then the NHL players themselves.

The other question left dangling in my head, is what will happen to the hosting situation. Currently, it's Ron MacLean. I love Ron MacLean. It's my last taste of his puns before the long, long, hockey withdrawn, off-season. I just have this vision of the NHL trying to get a celebrity to host the thing. Like... Mike Myers............................................................

sorry, i was just thinking about what I just wrote.

Moving on.

Bad Life Choice, NHL. I picture many hockey player mug shots appearing June 19 in the media. You're putting the gun right in the hands of the children (or however that cliche goes...)

Vegas isn't for NHL hockey awards — it's for fear, loathing, drinking, losing all your money and getting hitched to some two-cent hooker you just met. I will start taking bets on which NHL player(s) this will happen to.

I'm picking Carey Price.


Garn said...

Good call on price. I have $20 bucks saying Sean Avery never surfaces again after the awards.

Q-girl said...

If it is Price I am moving to Vegas and becoming a 2 cent hooker.

Jenn Casey said...

Saweet. You'll snap him into shape. Just no cookies. He has clearly already had too many.