Friday, April 17, 2009

Win/Fail: Playoff Edition.

I'm going to kick:

JOSH GORGES

Right in the goddamned shin.

Reason:

After surmounting two Boston goals, in Boston's building, Montreal was actually dominating the third period. The momentum was theirs. They were buzzing around the Boston zone and Boston was having problems getting their break-out on the go. It seemed like a matter of time before Boston either took a penalty (and faced Montreals over-25-per-cent effective powerplay... since acquiring Mathieu Schneider) or Montreal just flat out scored a goal.

And then that all came crashing down, when the soon-to-be victim of a viscous kick in the shin took a completely use-less mid-third-period cross-checking penalty.

Runner-up: Patrice Brisebois... for coughing up the puck several (hundred) times.


I am NOT going to kick

MARTIN HAVLAT

in the shin. (Notice the lack of reward... simply just letting him live his life without the threat of being kicked in shins... for now.)

Reason:

Much concern has been put forward by the hockey pundits over the lack of playoff experience on the Chicago Blackhawks. But i'm pulling for them, because boy are they fun to watch. And one of their players that does have playoff experience managed to carry the young guns on his back. Martin Havlat scored the tying goal in the third period and then the overtime winner. It's kinda like the polar opposite of being Josh Gorges.

Runnerup: Bill Guerin... because he's so godamned old and is still scoring goals.


*Edit: Listen, i know a lot of you are probably thinking that a kick in the shin is no big deal. You're all like "what sorta pussy-arse punishment is that, anyway". Well i'll tell you. a few months ago a 40 year old man slide-tackled me at rec league soccer and I didn't have shin guards on. There's still a goddamn bone chip in my shin that hurts every time I say the words: "Carey Price" (Is that true? you'll never know).

So stop your goddamn laughing. It's a serious affliction.

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