Saturday, January 10, 2009

I slept for four hours so a blog post seemed like the obvious choice.

He's gone all soft on us.

Jaromir Jagr was interviewed from Moscow, where he is gearing up for the first-ever KHL all-star game. (held outdoors in Red Square). And what he said wasn't very interesting at all.

“I was thinking about it and if Mario would call me and say, ‘I’d like you to play for our team,’ I would think about it a lot. I would play for the minimum salary. I would play for $350,000 just for him because I owe him my hockey life. I want to pay him back because he has made me what I am…besides my parents.”

Get on the gosh darn phone Mario. NOW. Have you seen the Penguin's record as of late? You could use crazy old Jagr.

Speaking of All Star games.

umm, sooo, did you read that?

The KHL All-Star game is going to be played outside in Red Square. AWE-SOME.

That's the answer! That's how you fix the NHL All-Boring game. Think about it. Who didn't like the outdoor games the NHL has staged in the past 5 years? Lame people. That's who. Because outdoor games are awesome. Outdoor games trigger notions of pond hockey and childhood. And the back of a Canadian five dollar bill.

It would also guarantee that the All-Star game would stop being played in places where nobody cares that the All-Boring game is happening... like Dallas, Nashville and Florida. Or as Gary Bettman seems to be fond of lately... Las Vegas.

This is a great idea!

A prolonged duthie-ism.

This is gold, recently Senators owner Eugene Melnyk released a statement to the media to address the dismal play of his team, and to try to squash rumours of a coaching change. James Duthie decided to do a "what he was really thinking" statement. If you want to get the gist of the actual statement, you could head here. But this is much more amusing.

A Statement from Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk:

“Contrary to what is being reported today by the (evil) media, I have made no decisions with respect to any personnel changes within the Senators organization (though Pat Quinn and I did buy ‘best friends forever’ bracelets today, and he has moved into my guest house). Winning remains our #1 priority (though if we lost the next 41, Tavares would be mine! All mine! Haha…evil laugh…Hahahaha!) and there is a collective focus by our management (get me some freakin’ players!), our coaching staff (get more out of my freakin’ players!) and our players (I’ll bring back Emery if you guys don’t smarten up!) to deliver this to our fans.

I, along with our fans, will do nothing but continue to remain fully committed to our Senators and enthusiastically (well, that might be a stretch…I’d take ‘politely’ frankly) cheer them on to a successful second half of the season (and by successful, I mean staying ahead of Atlanta and the Islanders).

This is crunch time (unlike the last 12 months, which my team apparently thought was the NHL version of recess). Now, more than ever, is the time to rally behind our team (and there is no better way to rally than to buy your whole family authentic Senators apparel, season-ticket packages for next year, and copious amounts of Biovail drugs for their various ailments). We don’t surrender halfway through the season (but if this crap lasts two more weeks, I’ll be waving the biggest white flag I can find).

Every victory from here on in matters (And at this rate, we’ll get about 7 of them before April). We know it and the fans know it. Period. (Well, I actually had 12 more pages, but Phil Legault edited them out).

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