"If I'm not signed by July 1, I don't think I'll be back in Montreal"

So the rumour has it right now... (and let's be clear here, this is still classified as a rumour. Because I trust Russian sports newspapers about as much as I trust 2 month old milk) ... is that Alex Kovalev will be handed the captaincy of the Montreal Canadiens and that Saku Koivu will be sent packing.

TSN.ca reports on the details from the story:

A Russian sports newspaper reports that the Montreal Canadiens have offered the team's captaincy to pending unrestricted free agent Alex Kovalev and that Saku Koivu is no longer in plans for the team.

According to Sovietsky Sport, the Canadiens don't intend to re-sign Koivu and would opt to re-sign Kovalev to a one-year deal worth between $6 million and $7.5 million. The story also claims that Kovalev would be awarded the captaincy.

After the Canadiens epic failure of a season, followed by their inevitable playoff loss to the Bruins there was lots of rumours swirling around about big changes within the organization.

This is definitely not one of the things I anticipated.

The big changes I anticipated might have sounded more like "Montrealers have giant street party after Canadiens fire GM Bob Gainey"

But instead they've awarded the captaincy to someone who seems to be unable to lead a pack of lemmings over a cliff. Someone who has been rumoured to have been unable to play well unless he has a fancy "C" on his shirt.

Boy-oh-boy, if this rumour is true, the Habs are going to have to hire one helluva coach.

Irony: Getting a message from Jim Balsillie on your Blackberry

Fw: MakeItSeven.ca: A Message from Jim Balsillie

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

---

From: "Jim Balsillie"
Date: Fri, 15 May 2009 13:02:59 -0500
To: <jenn.rcasey@gmail.com>
Subject: MakeItSeven.ca: A Message from Jim Balsillie

Dear Hockey Fans, Thank you for taking the time to sign up to MakeItSeven.ca. I want you to know, from one passionate hockey fan to another, I really appreciate it. Since I announced my offer to buy the Phoenix Coyotes, the response and support I have received from across Canada has been overwhelming. Within hours, more than 10,000 people had signed up at MakeItSeven.ca and every day thousands of Canadians continue to add their names and their support. Today more than 120,000 people have joined MakeItSeven.ca. Many of you have contacted me with suggestions and advice on a number of matters related to our mission to bring another NHL team to Canada. I appreciate all of it. While we are early in the process, I am more optimistic than ever that we are one step closer to bringing another NHL team to Southern Ontario and to Canada. I am excited to announce that two iconic Canadian brands, Home Hardware and Labatt, both supporters of hockey across this country, have joined the Make It Seven campaign. The MakeItSeven.ca website is also up and running today as our campaign hub. Through the site you, the fans, will have an opportunity to shape the Make It Seven campaign by uploading your own content, interacting with each other and getting regular updates on our progress. Please take the time to visit MakeItSeven.ca again and continue to participate in this important movement. For those of you who want to follow the progress in other ways, we have also set up an official Twitter account as @makeitseven. Thanks again for your support. Please contact all of your friends and family and ask them to sign up with you. Together, with our partners Home Hardware and Labatt and passionate Canadian hockey fans from coast to coast, we can make it happen. Together, we can make it seven! Jim Jim Balsillie

This email was sent by: Make It Seven Inc 218 - 34 Eglinton Avenue West Toronto, ON, M4R 2H6, Canada Click here to Unsubscribe | Click here to Update Profile Privacy Policy

"The NHL's Next Epic 7-Game Series"....

...Or, the NHL's Next Epic 6-Game Series, with a super-lame Game 7.

*Cough Cough*

The sound that Alexander Semin choking on his words.

*Cough Cough*

Actually I suppose it's the ENTIRE Washington Capitals making that sound.

*Cough, hack... COUGH COUGH..* geez someone give them the Heimlich.

That was the biggest, most epic, Game 7 choke I've seen in a while. I mean that was a Alexandre Diagle-esque kinda choke.

The Washington Capitals were so busy hacking up a lung they forgot to play the first two periods. At one point it was 5-0. It actually got to a point where Pittsburgh scored a goal and I just laughed out loud. By myself. In my apartment.

To tell you the truth, folks, I'm very disappointed. It was a fantastic series, you could say that it may have actually lived up to it's three-ring-circus hype that the media built leading into the series. So it's just sort of sad to see it end like it did. Sorta anti-climactic in a way. I was kinda gunning for some sort of epic eight-period, up till 5-in-the-mornin, sudden-death overtime, Crosby or Ovechkin scores some sorta ridiculous goal where they undress the entire opposition and then score while standing on their head, kinda game.

Oh well. Nicely done, Pittsburgh.

Oh my god, Gary, please just let him have a team.

This joke is getting kinda old.

Will someone please just let Jim Balsillie have a team. You realize the guy owns Crackberry. He's just going to get richer. And so he's just going to keep on trying. So really, just give up. (See, the Maritime defeatist attitude is good for something.)


I mean, look at him, he even wore a bowtie.

But in all seriousness: The team is bankrupt... and it's not like the "Pittsburgh Penguins... we had some bad management but there's lots of history here so if we rally the fans then we'll be okay" kinda bankruptcy. It's the "Phoenix Coyotes. You have a hockey team... in the desert. You moved it there... from Winnipeg. Why? Why does this exist. The fans in Phoenix don't care. Why are you propping up a failing team with transfer payments from the other teams and a massive NHL line of credit." kinda bankruptcy.

Gary Bettman, you're crazy. And you're delusional.

Give the team to Balsillie. How many people want a team that badly? How many people that want a team that badly have $212 mil to just drop down in suitcases of cash at NHL headquarters. Seriously. Just let him buy the team. Quit your grudge holding Bettman.

The NHLs main argument has to do with Balsillie's desire to move the team to Southern Ontario saying that there isn't enough population and that it will encroach on the Leafs and the Sabres. Wrong.

People who live in Southern Ontario outside of Toronto don't want to drive on the crazy Southern Ontario highways for over an hour and then pay for parking in ridiculously expensive Downtown Toronto and then have to buy food. Did I mention they have to drive in Toronto? I think i'd rather play with rusty razors.

Oh yah, and then there's the tickets. The Toronto Maple Leafs have no problem selling out their games even at the cost beginning at 35$ to stand in the nosebleeds. (Compared to tickets that start at 5$ in Tampa Bay). And usually unless you bought the tickets at the beginning of the season, they're impossible to get and you're stuck buying from scalpers, who sell tickets for a premium (Unlike in Tampa Bay). Tell me how the little guy living in Waterloo, Kitchener or Hamilton can afford that? But would they go to a game in Waterloo, Kitchener or Hamilton?

You bet ya.

Random thoughts for the day.

Top 10 (completely random) things from Round 1

1. Watching San Jose, yet again, crap out in the playoffs. Seriously, who didn't see that one coming this year.
   
2. John Tortorella loses mind... again.
   
3. Sean Avery is an idiot... again.
   
4. Detroit Red Wings and Boston Bruins are very very scary good.
   
5. learning that Adam Burrish was a guest security guard on Jerry Springer. Insert own joke here.
   
6. Maybe the kids are alright. One of the youngest team in the NHL with an average age of 26.8, the Chicago Blackhawks pick off the Calgary Flames and made it look damn easy.
7. Alexander Ovechkin actually undressed several New York Rangers. No.... literally. It was a sexy time.
8. Carolina Hurricanes score with seconds left in game 7 to take the series. Someone kick Martin Broduer please.
9. Because of said late third period goal... Washington plays Pittsburgh in Round 2. I think Washington Coach Bruce Boudreau said it best... "we're playing Pittsburgh, welcome to the circus."
   
10. Does this mean Eric Staal is good again?
    

There's the old Torts we all knew and loved.

throwing shit at fans... playing "next question" with real reporters.... distracting his team into blowing a series against Washington....

But the weird thing is... he apologized.

"It was a bad mistake and I regret it," said John Tortorella. "I put the Ranger organization in an embarrassing situation and I'm embarrassed by it."

The old Torts woulda said "eff it! that fan is a moron and I wish i gotta hold of him like that time the fan fell into the box with Tie Domi. I woulda effed him right up."

tsk tsk Torts. TSN made you soft. You've lost your touch.


Update — Epic Beard Battle.

Epic = Saddest

May 1 morning skate: Day 17

May 2nd Post-game: Day 18